Mar. 22nd, 2017 08:41 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
[personal profile] summersgate
The biopsy went okay. It was stressful and I am tired - my breast is very sore now but it was okay. I will know the results on Friday at the earliest or next week. The doctor said that statistically this type of cancerous calcification has a 70% chance of being non-dangerous. First I thought good - I have a better chance now. Then I thought - why should I be in the lucky 70%? That means someone else will have to be in the unlucky 30%. Someone has to have it. That is the price of being alive and the statistics that apply. I wouldn't wish this on anyone else. I can't be thinking of lucky or unlucky - deserving or undeserving. Let me just face what needs faced and be present for the good in each day. I have ice on it now and hopefully by tomorrow it will feel better - it should. After they were done the nurse asked if I had any questions and I thought to ask what diameter the needle was that they used for the biopsy. She said, the size of a knitting needle - not sure - she didn't really knit. Then she said, oh - here - here's one - you can see it. Ouch! it was big - it looked to be the size of about a 3 mm needle. I said - I'm glad I didn't see that before!

Something I want to remember about the procedure... At the point where the doctor came in and was doing his thing - the novocaine injection and the needle biopsy - the nurse came around to the other side and started tapping up and down on my back, buttocks and thighs (I was face down on a special table with my breast hanging down in a "vice" holding it still while the doctor worked on it). Her tapping felt just like Milo when he walks around on me when I am in bed at night - trying to get my attention and be close to me. I said she felt like my cat when he bothers me at night - but no, she wasn't bothering me - I liked that she was distracting me (from the jerking and movements the doctor was making). Then we talked about cats and what our cats were like. It was just a nice part of the thing.

Onto other, more pleasant things...
I think I have chosen a pattern for the baby blanket I am going to make for Mara's baby boy to be. Picture this sample done up in turquoise, red, green, yellow and white assorted colors with a gray edging on each one.

Date: 2017-03-23 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks, I needed one.

Date: 2017-03-23 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I like to know all those percentage stats when the doctor is talking to me, but even in the 99 to 1 range, someone has to be the 1. I hope your biopsy is negative.

that is a great pattern and the color choice sounds really good

Date: 2017-03-23 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That was my first question. Wanted to know the odds. Thanks.

Looking forward to getting the yarn and trying out the real thing.

Date: 2017-03-23 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Glad you did okay today. *hug*

Date: 2017-03-23 07:41 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-23 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am glad that nurse was there for you, doing what nurses do.

Date: 2017-03-23 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Me too. Made a big difference. I found myself looking forward to her touch, glad when she would return again.
Edited Date: 2017-03-23 10:34 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-23 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I went through this a few years ago, and the stress and anxiety and waiting is horrible to go through. I am wishing you all the best for a good outcome.

Date: 2017-03-23 07:40 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-23 08:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I was thinking of you and thinking today was the day. I do hope that you are in the lucky 70%. If it was me, I would be positive. They say positivity helps!

Nurses are awesome.

Nice squares. My friend is trying to get me addicted to crocheting :P

Date: 2017-03-23 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Yes, nurses are great. They are the human touch in a frightening situation.

I find crochet very relaxing.
Edited Date: 2017-03-23 07:40 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-24 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I think the nurse's bedside manner is often much better than the doctor's!

I'm sure I would find crochet very relaxing, too.

Date: 2017-03-23 10:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

I'm glad for you this part is over. Sending you another hug.

Date: 2017-03-23 07:37 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-23 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Best of luck on the results.

We are each our own statistic.

Date: 2017-03-23 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

That's a better way to think of it.

Date: 2017-03-23 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Wishing for negative results. I know the waiting is hard. (Hugs)

There are so many color combinations you can do with a granny square. My mother-in-law was always coming up with different ones. They make lovely baby blankets.

Date: 2017-03-23 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

The planning stage is the most fun part.

Date: 2017-03-23 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i promise you it has never even occurred to me that i got cancer because one of those lucky negative biopsy recipients left it to me in the white elephant swap. it happened because i was exposed to the wrong radioactive things at multiple wrong times and ways. but hey! i completely know where that kind of thought comes from because BEEN THERE. got the t-shirt, in fact. it did get better, even though my results were on the GAH!!! side of the spectrum. SO MANY HUGS.

biopsy stress management: two days before the soonest your results are projected to come in, start having a friend call, email or text you at the same time every day to check in. especially if you have any lengthy periods during a regular day when you are by yourself. at the very least establish with someone who will definitely be able to voice-to-voice talk to you what's going on and that you might be calling them upset.

also write/draw/practice informal primal scream therapy in the backyard if you gotta. sometimes you gotta.

Date: 2017-03-23 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks. This has definitely been a lot harder to not sink into negativity and hopelessness than I originally thought it would be.


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