summersgate: (eggshells)
[personal profile] summersgate
I write things here cause I like to read them later - or see pictures of where I have been - remember things - things that can be public.

More from Jenny Pope's studio.

I got this mug as a gift yesterday from Dave's niece Brandi. She said she just wanted to get me something to help me through, you know, the experience of cancer - something bright and cheerful. I didn't know much about her or her personality before this cause her dad, Dave's brother Bruce (who just died) divorced Brandi's mom a long time ago and I just didn't see his girls much after that (though Dave did). Came to find that she is an extraordinarily wonderful and thoughtful person (not just cause of this gift) but in so many other ways. She is the executor of the will and is handling everything in a gentle and kind way. There are problems (that I don't want to write about here) but she is handling everything so calmly and with sympathy.

Today is the day I see the oncologist. I still need to write down the questions I want to take with me. Thankfully the appointment is in the afternoon and I have the whole morning free. That feels very good. Yesterday Dave and I went back to State College again to help out with the will and dispersal of Bruce's things. Such a long day. Six hours of driving and then all the emotions while there. We both need a day to decompress after going.

I long for time to just sit in my studio making a new piece of jewelry. After looking at this mug I feel inspired to do something with butterflies. I long for bike rides and more hikes. I long for life to go back to what is was before. But for now I need to get a shower and then write down those questions. Maybe I will get a little time to work on jewelry after that...

I dreamed last night that [ profile] zyzyly had found a little beagle dog with a cut on its forehead and wanted me to help hold it for him while he stitched the cut up. The dog was asleep or very groggy so it was easy to hold - I just needed to keep its head in the right position for him. He was very competent and quick with his stitching. Afterwards the dog was still groggy and I needed to hold it to keep it safe and still while it recovered. I imagine in the dream I am the beagle and Zyzyly represents the world of medicine. I am turning myself over to that world now and trusting.

Date: 2017-04-05 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's a very good reason for having an online journal <3

And this is a lovely mug. A good present.

Date: 2017-04-06 11:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's interesting the different ways people find to use LJ - to educate and inform, to keep track of travels, to share amusing things, to share their art or just as a diary that can be public.

I love the mug - I was amazed she knew just the kind of thing I would like. Maybe we like the same things?

Date: 2017-04-06 11:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Maybe so! Or maybe she's just a very perceptive person--or both.

Date: 2017-04-05 10:51 pm (UTC)
gracegiver: (Default)
From: [personal profile] gracegiver
That's a comforting dream. Grab it, claim it.

How did you find questions to ask? I'd be stumped unless someone gave me a list.

Date: 2017-04-06 11:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I read a lot on the website and that gave me an idea of what might be going to happen next so I could formulate questions as to what might apply to me.

Date: 2017-04-06 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That is an interesting dream. You have now come and gone form your appointment, and I hope all your questions were answered, and a whole bunch of new ones didn't pop up.

Date: 2017-04-06 11:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The doctor was a fast talker and went over everything very quickly. Not sure I understood everything (how could I? - the medical jargon is very involved) but I left with more confidence that things will be okay in the end. I got a huge packet of information from her to read too. Maybe I will get more questions formulated as time goes on.

I think many times the people in my dreams represent certain things - rather than just being only themselves. You are "the nursing profession" to me in my dream world (in addition to being a great photographer and interesting writer in real life)

Date: 2017-04-08 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Some oncology practices have a nurse called a "navigator". My friend is a breast cancer navigator. It is just as it sounds. She helps people negotiate their way through this, and "translates" what the doctor tells them, which is always too fast. Perhaps they have one you can work with.

It is also ok to ask the oncologist to slow down and make it understandable. They are asking you to make big decisions, and shouldn't try to sell it to you like a used car.

Date: 2017-04-06 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I like your interpretation of the dream. And I am glad for people like Brandi.

Date: 2017-04-06 11:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah - it was a good dream. It's neat how dreams come up with ways to express things.

Brandi is very competent without being pushy or overly forceful. So glad that she was chosen as the executor.

Date: 2017-04-06 09:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
What a pretty cup! Your niece is very thoughtful.

My thoughts are with you as you go through the aftermath of Dave's brother's passing and also your cancer journey.


Date: 2017-04-06 11:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
She is amazingly thoughtful!.I was surprised.

Yeah - lots of stuff going on - feels like a deluge. But as time goes by it seems to be getting more manageable.


Date: 2017-04-07 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's nice that she is such a beautiful person.

You would feel overwhelmed at the moment.

(((More hugs.)))


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