ace of cups

Apr. 6th, 2017 07:23 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
[personal profile] summersgate
The ace of cups, beginning of emotion, the start of feeling, the sprouting of compassion, breaking through of love, an offering of heightened affection. My meditation reading this morning was on self-love and I was thinking about how we hear all the time that we have to love ourselves before we can love others. If I can't forgive myself (a person who I know intimately) then how can I expect to forgive others? We all need forgiven together.

I feel like the news I got at the oncologist yesterday was "good news". If a person has to have breast cancer then I've got the best kind. It's small, it can be helped with hormone therapy and so far it appears not to have spread to the lymph glands - they will know more about that after the operation. I'm active and pretty healthy to start with and it might be a good thing that I'm a little overweight - the loss of some breast tissue won't be as noticeable. The operation is this coming Monday. I will have 3 weeks to heal from that before I start the radiation. Radiation will happen 5 days a week (Monday through Friday) for 4 to 6 weeks. Then I will start hormone therapy - taking a pill once a day for 5 years.

Something I want to do - start writing my food down as I eat it - just to be more aware. For a while there I lost my appetite and when I did eat I wasn't eating very much but the food I was eating wasn't very good for me - too much sweets and high in fat. I want to make a little book that I can carry with me to keep track of my food. But then I think I will need to make a little crocheted bag to carry it - so now this has become an arts/crafts project too.

I don't understand why everyone is so upset that LJ has asked us to sign a new user agreement. Everywhere you go you have to sign user agreements. And then as years go by you have to re-sign them. Maybe I'm missing something but I don't understand what the big problem is. I'm not going anywhere. I wish others weren't. I like to read the people on my friend's list and I don't want to have to go to multiple other places to do that - I won't go to multiple blogging platforms to read - I'm too lazy to do that. I certainly won't go to FB to do my writing - what I like to write about isn't appropriate for that place. Oh well...

Date: 2017-04-06 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm staying.

Date: 2017-04-06 07:22 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-04-07 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I imagine if people actually read all the user agreements they signed, they'd be pretty freaked out about everything. I don't worry about it. The worst thing that can happen to me here is that LJ closes, and I continue posting pictures somewhere else.

When I teach my breast cancer class, I often use the same words your oncologist used to describe your cancer. He's right, though it kind of minimizes what you have to go through to get rid of it. There really is no good kind of cancer. I send good thought to you as you embark on this journey.
Edited Date: 2017-04-08 04:17 am (UTC)

Date: 2017-04-10 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
After talking to the doctor I was feeling pretty good - she was encouraging. But then later, when I tried to understand the booklet she gave me I got discouraged. You mentioned having a health navigator - that sounds like a good idea - I may ask about that.
Edited Date: 2017-04-10 02:19 am (UTC)

Date: 2017-04-07 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
At least you are surrounded by love.

I didn't find the lj thing alarming. If lj gets too bad, I'll just get off it.

Date: 2017-04-10 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Yes, LJ is the least of my problems right now! :-)

Date: 2017-04-10 09:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes, that's true ~

Date: 2017-04-08 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sounds like great news on the cancer. I'm glad everyone is moving so quickly on treatment.

I don't quite understand the fuss either, but then I'm not an anti-government activist in Russia. I did read the terms of service thoroughly and I don't think it will have any effect on what I write.

Date: 2017-04-10 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It sounds "better" than what some people have to put up with. I feel bad for them though. It would be terrible to have it at higher stages.

I don't think it will affect me either but it's too bad others are leaving.


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