The card I got today was the Medicine Woman card from the American Indian tarot. A woman kneeling down and harvesting plants. But I changed it and had my woman planting plants - a gardener. A person beautifying the edges of a path. Something pleasant to look at and appreciate for passersby. Maybe that is what I try to do with the jewelry.
Had a couple dreams I can remember a little of. In one I had gone back to work at Polk and was working with a young very dedicated person. We went out on bedcheck and I was just looking at the people to see if they were sleeping or not (to change their diaper if they were awake) but she was checking everyone's diaper, sleeping or not. She found a lot more to do than I did so then I went back to help her change the diapers she had found. She made me feel like nothing I was doing was right - I was inadequate. Then I had another dream where Jill was giving me a bunch of narcotics that she didn't want anymore. I was going to give them to someone I knew that needed them. Mom and dad were there and questioning if it was a good idea for me to have narcotics in hand. I said it's okay - I don't have a problem with narcotics - I just have problem with food. But then Jill was showing me something on one of the bottles and it started to leak. Rather than let the liquid be wasted and lost I was drinking it all up - even though I really didn't want it. I was wondering if I should call in sick to work then cause it wouldn't be a good idea to drive (high on narcotics). My main thought when I woke up was - maybe I don't have a problem with food (or narcotics) - I have a problem with "waste". Don't want to see things wasted. Don't want to put things down and save them for later. Don't have faith that they will be there again someday. Feel it is my responsibility to put them in my body so they won't go to waste. The answer all comes back to balance and staying centered - not to be controlled by the fear of "waste" but be guided by my actual bodily needs.
Yesterday I made some really good potato/seafood soup. A big pot of it. Which will need (? - it has a need?) to be eaten now. Dave and Johnny also got all the stuff for sauerkraut so they will be eating that. The potato soup will be my responsibility. I'm thinking it is odd that I can get so concerned for the lonesome foods and my responsibility to them that they won't be wasted. Part of that is being a child of parents who went through the depression - waste not, want not. Wasting is a terrible sin.
Though - I get some of my best feelings from throwing old foods away. Looking at the dates on them (or the condition of them in the fridge) and knowing it is the right thing to get rid of them. My responsibility to them is over. Food can be such a burden.
On another subject - the sun just came out for a few moments after all the rain we have been having and I was able to catch it:
Not shining now though...