today

Apr. 14th, 2017 11:06 am
summersgate: (Default)
page from For Today
A reading from For Today that spoke to me.

I'm finding myself to be in a bad mood a lot lately - especially with Andy. No patience with his barking or lunging at the cats. Acknowledging feelings should help to cope with them.

I have the number to call the breast cancer society but don't want to - don't want to talk about that yet - don't want to face it or even learn more right now. Though I know that would be helpful in the long run. I don't feel strong enough. Whenever I start reading about it my heart starts pounding and I feel weak. I am doing the thing where I go back to bed over and over again all day - my go-to mode when I'm stressed out. But now I am thinking it's not just stress alone that makes me do that - it has been this heart condition (RBBB) all along.

Anyway.

Posting this on dreamwidth just to try that out and see if that would work for cross-posting. I found the place that allows me to upload photos. Still not leaving LJ - and probably never will - but I want to learn more about my options.
summersgate: (eggshells)
4-2-17-mask-6inch
Trying to sort my feelings and thoughts and this drawing of a masked person came out. It actually looks like Bruce's girlfriend now that I've draw it - me wearing a mask of her. Not what I intended when I first drew it but now that is what it looks like. I find art therapy fascinating - it is like seeing dreams that come out of another area of our unconscious.

I can see that physically I'm slipping - my heart was pounding a lot of the time yesterday. Drinking coffee probably didn't help. Today after my morning coffee I'm switching to tea and decaf drinks. The visual migraine last night is a major alert to me that I am repressing emotions. I want to just be calm and accepting and hopeful. That is my goal but I'm not there.

The dawning is beautiful outside my window. Pale pearly fog. Pink sky. Frost on the grass.

I hope Dave and I can take Andy for a run today. Rainbow Rocks would be nice - or somewhere like that. It would be nice to SEE things and take note of nature, expend energy in a good way and get out of my head.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Today Hazel and I headed down to Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh so she could see a doctor about gender reassignment hormone therapy. Thank goodness we started out with an hour and half to spare cause I ended up driving the wrong way on I79 and didn't realize it for a very long time. We turned around finally - I drove like a fiend and we got to the appointment with 5 minutes to spare. I am not used to driving the new speed of 70 MPH on the interstate and then I was going even faster to try and make up some time. Nerve wracking. It was good to get into the city and get parked finally. A few photos )

~
Watching Spartacus (1960) at the moment. It is especially interesting to see because recently we watched a documentary about the screenwriter Dalton Trumbo. He was blacklisted after failing to cooperate with the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1947. Spartacus may have partially been written as his reaction to that. Spartacus is a slave being forced to do things he does not want to do - he screams out "I am not an animal!" He is brave enough to stand up and make changes.

tuesday

Sep. 15th, 2015 06:37 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
1633AnInnerLife-hand3x3
"An Inner Life" pendant - sterling, amber, paua shell and citrine Listing HERE

I'm still overly tired today (in my opinion) - went back to bed after the boys went to school and it was really hard to finally get up later. I started to take a supplement for depression and anxiety called 5-HTP about a month ago and I really do think it helps but now I'm wondering if that is what is making me so extra tired. Tomorrow, I won't take it and see if that helps.

Tonight Gabe and I went out back and I took some pictures for his senior photo. This is our favorite:
Gabe-senior-photo-1
summersgate: (eggshells)
1564YourBrightEye-right5inch>
"Your Bright Eye" pendant - sterling, enamel on copper, turquoise, nu-gold brass Listing HERE

Finished the above pendant this afternoon. No problem whatsoever with eutectic reaction soldering the brass onto the sterling. Of course not - it's not for a special commission. :-)

It seems that I miss-addressed the last thing I sold on etsy and the customer never got it in time to leave for their wedding (they wanted to wear it for the ceremony). I don't know what I did wrong or how it was miss-addressed. I do know from the tracking info that it did arrive at the right post office but could go no farther than that. I have been very careful to double check the addresses when I write them on the envelopes. This situation makes me feel like I am losing my mind! I contacted the customer to tell her about the situation and hopefully (since she has already left to go to another city where the ceremony will held later in the week) her brother will be able to pick the package up at the post office today and bring it to her the day of the ceremony. But that hasn't happened yet according to the tracking info. I hope he gets there before they do a return-to-sender with the package.

My fortune cookie for today said, "Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it". Hmm... I don't know if I have enough genius in me.

*edit* - Oh yay! tracking says it has been delivered (at 5:45) - yay - yay - yay!

inspired!

May. 7th, 2012 08:39 am
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I am inspired by Jenny Mendes. Here's the sculpture gallery in her etsy shop. Wow.

Leaving soon to go plein air painting with Cindy R. Even though it is drizzling and chilly it should be fun - we will sit under a picnic pavilion. It's official - going to paint outdoors! Somehow I feel anxious - that I won't be able to do something good - I'll be put on the spot. Need to let go of that block to creativity. Whatever I do will be fine! I'm taking both my oil painting box and my water color box - don't know what I should do. I'm not taking my big camera though - it would be too easy to want to slip into photography and I want to keep focused on painting.

Later...

friday

Aug. 28th, 2009 10:16 am
summersgate: (Default)
Today we take Johnny to college and drop him off. I know it's not such a big deal - he's only 30 miles away and will be coming home most weekends, but still - it's the first he has been away from home. I think I may be feeling more anxiety than he is. I had more dreadful thoughts last night - not exactly about Johnny - just free floating dread. I don't know how to describe it but it is like "doom" is coming. Maybe these things are what "anxiety attacks" are - I get filled with fear of the future.

~ On a different subject here's a photo of the new computer nook. We aren't facing the telephone hole anymore but I can still look though it into the kitchen to check on mom if she's out there alone for a few minutes.



Now if we can just keep Anniecat off the computer and printer - she leaves so much hair all over everything and likes to be near us. The black thing on the far left is the new printer, which so far I love! I may get more 4 by 6 photo paper and start printing out some of my better photos to put in albums - it is so easy with this printer - there is a spot just to keep photo paper in it all the time. I need to learn more about it though...

Well, need to start loading Johnny's stuff in the car soon. We leave at noon when Jill gets here.

friday

Aug. 28th, 2009 10:16 am
summersgate: (Default)
Today we take Johnny to college and drop him off. I know it's not such a big deal - he's only 30 miles away and will be coming home most weekends, but still - it's the first he has been away from home. I think I may be feeling more anxiety than he is. I had more dreadful thoughts last night - not exactly about Johnny - just free floating dread. I don't know how to describe it but it is like "doom" is coming. Maybe these things are what "anxiety attacks" are - I get filled with fear of the future.

~ On a different subject here's a photo of the new computer nook. We aren't facing the telephone hole anymore but I can still look though it into the kitchen to check on mom if she's out there alone for a few minutes.



Now if we can just keep Anniecat off the computer and printer - she leaves so much hair all over everything and likes to be near us. The black thing on the far left is the new printer, which so far I love! I may get more 4 by 6 photo paper and start printing out some of my better photos to put in albums - it is so easy with this printer - there is a spot just to keep photo paper in it all the time. I need to learn more about it though...

Well, need to start loading Johnny's stuff in the car soon. We leave at noon when Jill gets here.

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