thursday

Apr. 13th, 2017 07:48 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
4-13-17-tree-life
I see a tree that has been damaged, splitting, cracking apart but still alive and bursting with life. Spring is happening.

I had a headache most of yesterday and felt fuzzy. My tinnitus was extra loud. But in it's own way it was a good day with lots of talking to friends, lots of crying, which was just what I needed. Getting used to life as it is. Hazel drove me to the store for some shopping and carried the groceries in for me. I made progress on the crocheted baby blanket. Watched episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - good silliness. Dave swept off the front porch and back porch and made them nice. He mowed the back yard for the first time this year too. I ate my supper out back at the picnic table. We (Dave and I, Hazel and Rossy) walked Andy down to the creek and threw his ball with the ball thrower in the lower yard. Hazel has got a great throwing arm - I think cause she is so tall - and Andy got a really good work out. He loves to chase the ball.

Tomorrow Johnny and Alison and Chloe and Mike are coming for a visit. Chloe wants me to show her some new hiking trails where she can take her ARC clients. I think we will show her the trail to Rainbow Rocks - it will be a relatively easy walk that her clients can handle. Mike and Dave are going fishing.

It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day today. I have a big pot with a passionflower vine in it. I might have killed it with neglect over the winter but I want to get it planted outside soon - there might still be hope for it. I won't be able to lift it myself but I bet I can get a grandkid to help me. I am not very good with most houseplants, except succulents. I think the passionflower will have better luck outside, even with our winters - they can withstand some freezing.

I have had a dreamwidth account since 2010 but I only use it to back up my LJ now and then and never post there. The last time I backed it up was in 2012 but I am backing it up today. I have a different name there: Summersgate. https://summersgate.dreamwidth.org/ I don't want to leave LJ and don't plan to leave but just in case something happens to LJ I will be covered. I will still be posting my entries on LJ.
summersgate: (eggshells)
mini-book-bag
I really like how the mini bag turned out that I made to carry the little book I want to keep track of my food in. It only took a couple hours to make it (book and bag) last night. I think this little bag would make a neat gift. If I find a friend admiring it I will make them one too. It is a good size for a cell phone or wallet. I'm not going on a diet - can't stand doing things like that - but I figure it wouldn't hurt to be more aware of what I am eating. It might change what I am eating if I am taking note of it.

hiking-bag-3-21-17
This is a bag that was constructed in a similar way, but larger, that I made a couple weeks ago. I ended up not liking it with the thin strap that I put on it. I originally made the bag to carry when hiking in the summer when I wouldn't need to take along extra clothing but after I put in a bottle of water it was too heavy and the strap dug my shoulder too much. Chloe loved the bag when she saw it and I gave it to her. It would be fine with lightweight things in it.

Dave and I went early this morning and picked up our taxes from our tax lady. We owe about $700. I actually made money again last year with my business. Though I doubt this year I will be making a profit. Since I quit offering the made-to-size rings and bracelets I am not getting near as much business as before. I still wouldn't go back to making to-size things. I like making what I want, when I want and making things for fun and to my own liking - even if they don't sell right away.

ace of cups

Apr. 6th, 2017 07:23 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
4-6-17-ace-of-cups-yellow-b
The ace of cups, beginning of emotion, the start of feeling, the sprouting of compassion, breaking through of love, an offering of heightened affection. My meditation reading this morning was on self-love and I was thinking about how we hear all the time that we have to love ourselves before we can love others. If I can't forgive myself (a person who I know intimately) then how can I expect to forgive others? We all need forgiven together.

I feel like the news I got at the oncologist yesterday was "good news". If a person has to have breast cancer then I've got the best kind. It's small, it can be helped with hormone therapy and so far it appears not to have spread to the lymph glands - they will know more about that after the operation. I'm active and pretty healthy to start with and it might be a good thing that I'm a little overweight - the loss of some breast tissue won't be as noticeable. The operation is this coming Monday. I will have 3 weeks to heal from that before I start the radiation. Radiation will happen 5 days a week (Monday through Friday) for 4 to 6 weeks. Then I will start hormone therapy - taking a pill once a day for 5 years.

~
Something I want to do - start writing my food down as I eat it - just to be more aware. For a while there I lost my appetite and when I did eat I wasn't eating very much but the food I was eating wasn't very good for me - too much sweets and high in fat. I want to make a little book that I can carry with me to keep track of my food. But then I think I will need to make a little crocheted bag to carry it - so now this has become an arts/crafts project too.

I don't understand why everyone is so upset that LJ has asked us to sign a new user agreement. Everywhere you go you have to sign user agreements. And then as years go by you have to re-sign them. Maybe I'm missing something but I don't understand what the big problem is. I'm not going anywhere. I wish others weren't. I like to read the people on my friend's list and I don't want to have to go to multiple other places to do that - I won't go to multiple blogging platforms to read - I'm too lazy to do that. I certainly won't go to FB to do my writing - what I like to write about isn't appropriate for that place. Oh well...
summersgate: (eggshells)
blooming-granny-colors-4-1-
I started the baby quilt today and I'm really liking the colors together.

We watched the first episodes of Detectorists tonight and loved it. It's disappointing that Netflix doesn't have the later ones on DVD. Darn.

Had a visual migraine just now and I think it's time to turn in.

wednesday

Mar. 22nd, 2017 08:41 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
The biopsy went okay. It was stressful and I am tired - my breast is very sore now but it was okay. I will know the results on Friday at the earliest or next week. The doctor said that statistically this type of cancerous calcification has a 70% chance of being non-dangerous. First I thought good - I have a better chance now. Then I thought - why should I be in the lucky 70%? That means someone else will have to be in the unlucky 30%. Someone has to have it. That is the price of being alive and the statistics that apply. I wouldn't wish this on anyone else. I can't be thinking of lucky or unlucky - deserving or undeserving. Let me just face what needs faced and be present for the good in each day. I have ice on it now and hopefully by tomorrow it will feel better - it should. After they were done the nurse asked if I had any questions and I thought to ask what diameter the needle was that they used for the biopsy. She said, the size of a knitting needle - not sure - she didn't really knit. Then she said, oh - here - here's one - you can see it. Ouch! it was big - it looked to be the size of about a 3 mm needle. I said - I'm glad I didn't see that before!

Something I want to remember about the procedure... At the point where the doctor came in and was doing his thing - the novocaine injection and the needle biopsy - the nurse came around to the other side and started tapping up and down on my back, buttocks and thighs (I was face down on a special table with my breast hanging down in a "vice" holding it still while the doctor worked on it). Her tapping felt just like Milo when he walks around on me when I am in bed at night - trying to get my attention and be close to me. I said she felt like my cat when he bothers me at night - but no, she wasn't bothering me - I liked that she was distracting me (from the jerking and movements the doctor was making). Then we talked about cats and what our cats were like. It was just a nice part of the thing.

~
Onto other, more pleasant things...
blooming-granny-trial-3-22-
I think I have chosen a pattern for the baby blanket I am going to make for Mara's baby boy to be. Picture this sample done up in turquoise, red, green, yellow and white assorted colors with a gray edging on each one.

friday

Mar. 10th, 2017 01:18 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Saw the doctor this morning - and he tells me that I am doing great. Don't know what causes the strange traveling pains. I guess it is something I have inherited from my mother. He is wondering if it might be a shortage of vitamin D so I will get tested for that. At this point though I am just going back to my former thinking about it - it's psychological and manufactured by my mind to distract me from other things. The less I think about it probably the less it will ache; wherever it is settling at the moment. Right now I'm not having any pains at all.

We had a lovely snow fall last night - woke up to a lacy fairy white world. As I was driving home from the doctor's office the sun was shining for a little bit and warming things up. It was just at that moment of warming when the electric and phone wires let go of the snow that had accumulated on them. The snow was falling off in long horizontal lines that broke apart as they fell, disintegrating before they hit the ground. I had fun watching for dropping lines of snow as I drove home.

I just ordered the yarn to make a baby blanket for Mara's new baby boy. He will be born in July (maybe June?) and I wanted to make a granny square baby blanket for him. The main color will be heather gray with fern green, soft red, aqua and antique white multi-colors. I'm having the yarn shipped to my sister's house in Florida so that while I'm there next month I can work on it in my spare time. I'm sure we will be busy going places and doing things too but I'm finding I really like to just crochet to pass the time rather than watch TV or read. I can talk and be present for others as I crochet. It's not as isolating as reading can be. I have fallen in love with the granny square method - so easy to pick up and carry around and hold while working on it.

my day

Jan. 18th, 2017 08:38 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
As the day went on things started to seem a lot better. Even though I was ready to give up on my laptop and start grieving its loss Johnny wasn't, and he tried new things with it today. He quit using the recovery discs I had made for it and instead installed Windows 10. Not something I wanted to do - I like Windows 7 and didn't want to learn a new thing but as the day went on I got myself ready for a new adventure. Hopefully that is the answer. So far so good - we are still loading my files back into it.

Crocheted a while. That was calming. Went through the Christmas cards and made sure the return addresses matched the ones in our address book. Some of Dave's nieces and nephews moved to new houses last year. Did some business book work in preparation for figuring out state sales tax. Helped Johnny make templates and cut material for the chairs that he is reupholstering. Walked down to the creek and to the lake with Dave and Andy as dusk was falling. Made part of our dinner - the raviolis and green beans, while Dave grilled salmon. So all in all a productive day in spite of the blaas.

And now David Z is coming so Johnny can look at his old computer - to advise him if it can be saved...
summersgate: (eggshells)
12-27-16-mini-tarot-deck-and-book
Today I used this mini tarot deck. It is so tiny you really can't see the images without a magnifying glass (at least I can't). But the book has the images larger so you can look them up there if you can just figure out what they are supposed to be. Today it is The Moon.

12-27-16-the-moon-drawing
My drawing. Kind of generic. An owl flies in. There are 2 branches. 5 stars. I was thinking this morning that we only have 5 more days of 2016. The bad part of 2016 was all this stupid political stuff and the fear for our future that I have now. But personally my own year was good. I got out for lots of outdoor stuff and got that mosaic done that had been weighing on me. Dave discovered that he has macular degeneration - not a good year there. We got Andy - good and bad there but now I would say it has worked out well and it is good and getting better all the time.

Still thinking about how to get my life into balance. Yesterday my food was good - I left the pile of cookies and candy on the counter alone. But I crocheted nearly ALL DAY. I will burn out soon with crochet and never get this blanket done if I keep it up at that pace. I did take a little break to drive out to Two Mile Run. Johnny and I were going to go for a hike but by the time we got there it was raining really hard and we gave up. Ideally I want to have varied days with lots of things happening - outings, work on jewelry, time with people, cleaning and organizing, cooking healthy meals. I have to guide and control my "all or nothing" personality somehow. Of course thinking about it right now, each morning, and planning my day is a good way to do that.
summersgate: (eggshells)
12-25-16-the-wheel-of-fortune-#10
Serendipitously the card I chose from the Golden Tarot deck this morning was this one. It looks like the morning after Jesus' birth - papa Joseph is cooking a meal and mama Mary is admiring the baby - all the wise men, angels and shepherds have gone away and it is the start of a quiet ordinary day. The wheel of fortune in the upper left is there to tell us that things go in cycles - good and bad - always changing. Don't struggle - go with the flow.

I thought we would have a very non-busy day today but that has changed. Chloe and Mike are ready to get the bedroom furniture for their new house from our basement and want to do it today. Good! But that means that I will have to do a lot of cleaning up down there before they get here. The thing (cleaning and sorting through stuff) that I have been trying to force myself to do lately (with no result) is going to be forced on me today (with result)!

polo-3-squares-in-granny-square-12-24-16
I worked up 3 squares last night with the new yarn just to see how it would do - I love it! I love those colors. I'm figuring that since each square is 6" and I will need to make the blanket 7.5 feet square then I will need to make 225 of these. Sounds like a lot but if I was to make only 3 each evening (while watching TV with Dave) then I would be done in only about 2 and 1/2 months. Sounds like a nice long term project - if I don't get distracted. I do have a tendency to want to give up projects if they take too long.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Good morning Christmas Eve Day. It'll be a busy day today. First we will go over and watch the grandkids open the presents they are getting from their dad, then Johnny and I will go shopping, there will be foods that need fixed and cleaning to be done, dinner for the family tonight and present opening again. Then the grandkids will be heading off to their mom's house for the rest of the weekend. Actual Christmas Day (Sunday) will be rather dull I imagine. Holiday weekends can get me all mixed up as to what day it is. This year it might be good with the holidays happening on Saturday and Sunday.

12-24-16-honors-freindship
Today's drawing. Taken from a small detail in the "#49 Honors" card in the Dream Inspiration deck. Lots of other confusing stuff going on in the image but these 2 hands clasped in trust seemed to be a good thing to concentrate on.

I got some beautiful yarn yesterday called Red Heart Unforgettable in the Polo color:
red-heart-unforgettable-polo
I want to make a granny square blanket with it and give it to Chloe as a gift. The colors remind me of her. As the yarn works up it is supposed to be self color changing and I won't have to stop to tie in new colors all the time like regular granny squares. Then after I see how that goes I'd like to make a blanket for Johnny in the Dragonfly color:
dragonfly unforgettable yarn
That should keep me busy for quite a while in the coming year.

monday

Dec. 19th, 2016 07:01 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
12-19-16-Hera-Goddess-Knowledge
She reaches too late - the rose is dead now. That is her sorrow - she is always too late. Even though she is the goddess of monthly time it doesn't help her with the minutes or days. But she puts on a good face anyway.

A new week. The week before Christmas. People ask, are you ready for Christmas? No. Yes. No. Do I have to be ready?

That's why I don't like holidays much. Time is supposed to arbitrarily stop and everything turns itself over to the holiday. Foods are supposed to be prepared and eaten. The mail doesn't come. Decorations are supposed to come out and then go back away again. I'm supposed to be "ready". And if I'm not ready?

Yesterday I dismantled the flower centerpiece that we were given for Thanksgiving. I had let it dry out to see which flowers could be salvaged. There were intense blue ones with sharp spurs around the flower's base that pricked if you held them the wrong way. There were roses whose petals had all turned brown except for a beautiful pinkish red rim around the top edge of each. There were big daisy-ish flowers with yellow petals that were easy to pluck out. I put the flower petals in baggies. Someday I might use them to make handmade paper.

I switched over last night to making colorful granny square cotton dishcloths. It is amazing how much faster they work up than the regular knit or crochet ones I was making before. I made 3 in one evening - compared to just one a night before.

granny-square-dishcloths

These are gifts - part of getting ready for Christmas. Or just something I want to do - I might give them away all year long too. Have a pile I keep near the door that I can reach into and give one or two away whenever I feel like it. Dishcloths are disposable - they are always getting old and worn out. Dave does that with flashlights. He buys bunches of them cheap from ebay and then he'll give them away to people just out of the blue. I like that idea better than having to "get ready for Christmas".

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