thursday

Dec. 8th, 2016 10:22 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
12-8-16-seven-of-cups
Inspired by the Seven of Cups in the Thoth tarot. That card has the word "debauch" on it and is very busy with 7 flowers dripping into seven cups and they are all overflowing into a pool of water all broken up with drops falling into it. My interpretation of my feelings today is not that.

Yesterday morning I found out that I had a message on my phone from the day before. My cousin Helen's son had called to tell me that Helen wasn't doing well and she was nearing the end. I went to the nursing home to see her and found that she was as he said - unresponsive. Though I thought I did see some glimmerings of responsive when I told her I was there. It looked like her lips were dry and I got a little sponge on a stick and gave her some water with it - she sucked the water and licked her lips - so I know a bit of her consciousness was working. Her eyes never opened though. I was alone the whole time and at one point I thought I would look into her journal that was on the bedside stand. Back when she was still living in her own home she had showed me her journal so I thought she wouldn't mind. It was mainly all gibberish - made no sense. Though she had told me back then that she used code to write about certain people so they wouldn't be able to read what she was writing about them. So I don't know if this was her code or if she really was losing the ability to put thoughts together in these last months. The word "no" was used a lot. But one sentence at the top of a page separated from the gibberish words was very plain: SO - I AM STILL ON THIS EARTH!

Helen didn't like her roommate much - I already knew that. I could hear the roommate out in the hall begging someone to help me, help me, help me in a horrible whiny voice. I went out to check and she wanted someone to push her into the room. I said, okay, I can help you. Right then Helen let out a big yell and started to scream so I said to the roommate - sorry - I need to help Helen now and left her. As soon as Helen heard I was not going to bring the roommate in she calmed down. So I do think she has some consciousness - just not the ability to do very much with it - she is getting farther away now. But she knew she didn't want her serenity ruined by this whiny, constantly complaining self-centered woman. That is one thing about dying in a nursing home rather than your own home. Not nice.

Anyway.

I had a dream last night that I had fixed up my goat shed anew with couches, chairs, tables and beds - shelves on the walls to put art and trinkets and I built a big fireplace in the far wall. It was much bigger than before. I had invited people over for a get-together and it was really nice. But then, I found out that the goats were still alive and needed a home. I had no choice but try and make them welcome there. They were pooping all over and getting into things. I was cleaning out an old bucket that I had planted flowers in to make a water bucket for them. The goats weren't in very good shape and Gretta Goat had a sore on her head - I was wondering what kind of salve I had to put on it. I was up in the house when someone yelled, "There's a fire in the goatshed!" so I ran down to see. There really wasn't any danger - it was just a fire in the fireplace. But it was very hot in there and candles and things like that were melting. I stayed with it to make sure everything was okay till the fire died down. End of dream.

I have no idea where that dream came from or what it means.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Doing some updates to the laptop so here I am in front of it - which usually means if I'm not reading something or looking up something then I am writing something on LJ. Writing about the plans for my day today - what's on my mind. I plan to put up our older tent in the backyard today. The one with one big room (holds 2 cots very nicely) and an attached screened porch room. I want to put it up and leave it up for the rest of the summer. Even if it ruins the tent having it exposed to the weather all summer I want to do it. If it did get ruined THIS is what I would get to replace it. I like having a tent that I can take my afternoon naps in - just a place to go outside to be alone. It fulfills the same need in me that the goatshed used to. I think I will fit it out like I used to have the goatshed - with a bed and a table for sitting.

Other things I hope to accomplish today:
Check on the clay elements in the basement and see how the drying is coming along. I have them covered so they dry slowly. Since they are flat they have a tendency to curl up the edges while they dry and I don't want that.
Start work on 2 jewelry orders I have - one is a ring and one is for a bail for a carved stone.
Hopefully fit in an etsy-a-day too.
And a bike ride - it is a super beautiful day.
The dishes need done.
The stuff from next door is still dominating the living room - I need to get on with sorting through it. I have looked in some boxes and it just seems too difficult to let go of that stuff. Which sounds dumb - not anything I need but there are so many memories there. A box of my dad's old 8 mm movies and the projector. They have already been put onto a dvd but I can't stand to get rid of them (yet). Some old cut glass relish dishes my mom had in an upper cupboard. Those are just a couple of the things - as soon as I look at that sitting in the top of the boxes I turn away from the job. Stuck. Stuck again. Stupid.

Yesterday we watched the first episodes of the series "Huge" - about a summer weight-loss camp for teens. I think it is geared towards young adults but I really liked it. It shows overweight kids as real people and they are the stars of the show. The characters in the show have stayed in my mind with me today. I wish there were more episodes to watch - the show only lasted one season.
summersgate: (self portrait a day)
The writing prompt today is "a gray coat" so I thought I would put on my gray jacket and get a spad photo in it. My down coat that I have been wearing the last couple days might work for "gray coat" too - but is more of a greenish gray color.

2-14-16-gray-coat

This photo was taken in a mirror that came with a little old trailer I got in 1983, the year my first husband Pat and I divorced. I got the trailer and had it moved into my parent's backyard so I could have a place of my own while I was living with them and getting my life back together. Jules (age 9) slept in the bed in the bedroom up in my parent's house and I slept in the bed in the trailer. It had no running water (I carried buckets of water) but it had a gray water system that emptied the kitchen sink so I could do very minor cooking there. Mainly I heated water for hot drinks and went up to my parent's house to eat my meals. I worked night shift and slept there in the day time. There was a bat that slept there too, hanging from one of the screen doors. The trailer came with a folding wooden table, a couch, a wooden chair with cushions, an old steel office chair that was made by the Harter company and this mirror - I really treasured those few pieces of furniture. They were the beginning of starting my new life. I loved that old trailer even if it did smell like mice. It was the first time in my life that I was living on my own. I made ecru colored curtains from doilies that I crocheted and then set the doilies into muslin fabric. It just felt so good to me to sit in my little living room down in the pines and BE there. I had chickens too at that time and the chicken house was down near the trailer so I could hear them during the day. My goats lived in the goatshed and my dad helped me put up a fence for them that was between my trailer and the house. I had a new puppy then too - Teddy - a cockapoo, who lived with me there. It was during that time that I met Dave. Walking back to my little trailer holding hands with him and passing under the chestnut trees in bloom during September - that smell will always take me back to those days.

~
This morning Dave and I took Andy for a walk down to the creek and on the way back I took this photo of a chair I have sitting at the top of the hill. I call it dad's chair - a place for his spirit to rest and look over the lower yard. The goat shed is in the background. The old trailer would be to the right of this chair if it was still there.

ghost-of-dad-2-14-16
summersgate: (winter)
goatshed
goatshed

Dave left to go ice-fishing this morning and I went for another snowshoe walk out back. I was a little more careful being alone - I didn't want to fall - I hear it is hard to get back up. More photos - basically photos of stuff I take photos of all the time when I go for a walk out back )
summersgate: (big girl camera daily)
take a walk to the creek.

goatshed

I thought it would be nice to try out the soft focus optic outside and took a walk down to the creek just now. I only got as far as the goatshed and thought maybe I should turn around - the mosquitoes are horrible right now! But then I thought for *ART* I should continue on. More HERE )

Now it's time to get some work done as I scratch my bites.
summersgate: (goatshed)
I decided last week that it would be really nice to turn the goatshed over to "the boys" since that I don't really use it at all anymore. Now that I have my studio room I have a sanctuary right in my own house. Today I took most all my stuff out of the shed - especially candles and things that could start fires. I had moved my bed out last summer (it's in my room over here now) and added another old table to the shed so there are 2 tables and 4 chairs in it now. Gabe and Rossy swept it out and wiped off the tables and chairs and took possession today.

out-front
Gabe sitting out front - Roswell is fine tuning things

More photos of the present look of the place HERE )

I think this little shed saved my sanity back in the days we were living next door and I felt so trapped in the house all the time taking care of mom. This shed gave me a place to go when it was raining and I needed to get out. It gave me a project to occupy my mind and gave me a goal. It really was my first attempt at "decorating" totally on my own - choosing colors and finding a style. A lot of appreciation goes to Dave for helping me - putting a new roof on it and an extra window and fixing the door. I kept a journal in it and wrote something nearly every time I spent time there. The first journal entry is May 3, 2010. This is what it looked like back then:

the-beginning

I'm glad now to turn it over to the kids though. It started out as my sister Kathy's play shed when we were kids and then after I moved back home after my divorce it housed my goats. It sat empty for 13 years after I married Dave and we all moved to live in Sandy Lake. We moved back here again in 1999 so we could be helpful to mom and dad and John and we brought our last goat with us - old Honey. She lived for a couple more years in the shed till she died and then it set empty from another 9 years. I think those years were the hardest on it - the roof went bad and there were no goats to keep the brush cleared away from the yard anymore. This last transformation since 2010 was pretty drastic and pretty wonderful. I hope the kids have lots of fun with it now.
summersgate: (eggshells)


brother john's old shed viewed from my goatshed

Long story - some of you have heard some of it. In 1964 our brother John (age 15) was in a high school wrestling accident and broke his neck. Before that he was super strong, a hunter and fisherman, loved to be outdoors and loved cars - especially Chrysler products. He was fixing up an old car (a Plymouth?) that was going to be his first car when he turned 16 (one month away) when the accident happened. He became a quadriplegic with only some limited movement in his arms - none in his hands. But he could use a brace to hold a pencil to type with (used the eraser end to press the keyboard) and he could hold eating utensils that had built up handles and feed himself, so in many ways he could be independent and amuse himself. Mom and Dad took care of him here at home till he passed away in 2004. Before the accident this little old building was his private clubhouse - and I mean private - he kept it padlocked. I, as his little sister (cause I thought he was so cool as a big brother) wanted SO badly to get into his clubhouse with him. Every once in a while he did let me in and I loved it. He had a cot in there and a tiny coal stove. There was a stack of Esquires hidden under the cot and he had other of his treasures in locked wooden boxes that I wanted to see so badly - knives and "boy toys" - toy trains, model planes, a compass and hunting things. After the accident the shed just sat there, never changing for a long time, like a forgotten shrine to John's previous life - he never went back in it again. It was also a shed that dad had electronic TV cable stuff in - it connected the antennas behind it to our house and the neighbor's houses. So Dad did go in to check on the cables and eventually started to use the shed to store old junk. When I moved back home after my first marriage was over in 1983 I brought my goats with me and they lived in (what I now call) the "goatshed". The goats shared a pasture with John's old shed too. For some reason they loved the taste of it and Dad ended up having to reinforce it with more siding at the bottom and then a chicken wire over-lay. (I said this was a long story.) I lived here with my parents for 3 more years, then in 1986 married Dave and moved to his house, taking the goats with me. In 1999 we moved into the house next door so we could help Mom and Dad and John, bringing the last of my little herd of goats with us - Honey. She kept the pasture clear till she passed away in 2002 (? - I think). After that the goatshed and John's shed both became surrounded by impenetrable brambles and were forgotten, except by opossums and raccoons who seemed to like to go in them to die and feral cats to have their babies. One of the things Jules has mentioned he wants to do when he takes over Mom and Dad's house soon is that he wants to clear the old goat's pasture of brambles and make it a nice lawn again. Last night I thought it might be fun to get the kids involved in cleaning out John's shed and making some paths through the brambles so we could bring in a wheelbarrow to haul junk out with. It's time for the old shed to have new life and I'm sure John would be happy to think his great-nephews were having fun in it.


dave and the grandboys checking things over

And an unrelated photo from today - Milo looking pert and suspicious of me taking his picture:

I fold that purple blanket flat and put it at the foot of the bed nearly everyday but Milo is very good at manipulating it back into a pile in the middle of the bed so he can use it as his pillow.

saturday

Apr. 20th, 2013 09:02 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
tassel 4
tassel hat

It snowed this morning quite a bit - didn't stick anywhere though. Just a cold and windy day all day but the sun did come out this afternoon and make it strikingly pretty. I put on my down coat (found this tasseled hat in the pocket that Deb made me years ago) and walked around the back yard, visited the goatshed and took a few photos with my new iPod touch - it is the latest version and I am so happy with it! It takes much better photos than the old touch and the shake to randomize works better - I don't have to look like a nut shaking the camera so violently anymore.

bed
bed

book
writing in my goatshed journal

table3
table
summersgate: (eggshells)
goatshed-night4-18-13

I "dry" cleaned the goatshed tonight - wiped all the candle holders etc off with a rag, used a whisk broom on the walls and windowsills, shook out the rugs and table cloth and bed cover and swept it all out. When I was all done I sat down to enjoy it - it was getting dark so I lit the lamp and wrote in my goatshed journal. I wrote about how much I love my little shed - love it! Sebby saw the light on and come down to visit me. I told him I didn't want to give it up and he said, don't. So I won't. When they take over this house soon I'm going to retain the shed - at least till I feel ready to let it go, or I can make a new shed on our own property.

Chloe has strep throat, poor girl. She has started a new and different antibiotic today so I hope that helps.

PT was good today, and I had dreaded it so much too, for nothing. When I last went on Tuesday I was about ready to totally give it all up - it was like being in a torture session and I thought I just don't need all this PAIN that these people are causing me. But I got a different therapist today, much more gentle. I think they start talking, telling me stories of their lives and just forget to watch me and my subtle reactions to the pains they are causing as they stretch my arm joint backwards. I can finally see a difference in how far my shoulder can move now - it's coming back.
summersgate: (eggshells)
tulips-3-29-13framed
tulips early this afternoon

goatshed-3-29-13framed
goatshed behind a field of snow

I'm back now from picking up Johnny in Clarion - it was a beautiful drive - pretty clouds and the sky was aqua blue. On the way back and closer to home the sky started to clear totally - we might even get to see the moon tonight - it seems we haven't had a clear sky for a very long time...

holga day

Jan. 28th, 2013 05:05 pm
summersgate: (studio pix)
Studio pic for today - holga lens on the nikon camera:

1-28-13-soldering-bench
seemingly vast stretch of jumbled objects

I took a little walk around the back yard too in the drizzling rain. A dark lens for a dark day. 4 more HERE )
summersgate: (this is death)
walking-to-graveyard2

Butterscotch, Gabe's hamster, died yesterday and we had a little ceremony this afternoon to bury him down over the hill behind the goatshed. Gabe did all the digging himself - which wasn't that easy in this frozen ground. So cold today.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Yesterday afternoon I was sitting out back enjoying the warm sunshine and noticed a little brown bat flying around. This was around 1:30 and then later at 4 I looked out the window and saw it was still flying around but farther back, close to the top of the hill. I went out with the little Sony and tried to take some photos - not that great but still shows how strange it is to see a bat in broad daylight against a bright blue sky. I called the grandboys down and we watched it for a long time, just dipping and circling, when all of a sudden I guess it was just done for the day and headed up towards the house. We ran after it and saw it just as it was scrabbling into the vent at the end of the house that goes into the attic. So now we know what that thing might be that we hear sometimes. I'm glad - I'd rather have a bat than a rat.

sony bat1

sony bat-3

Then last night Gabe and Oo-tapo and I went down to the shed at dusk. I used the little Sony camera and took a few photos as the sun was setting with candles lit. That camera is amazing that it can work in such darkness. It takes 6 photos really fast and then combines all the photos to get one nice photo without noise. But a person has to hold still for the 6 photos to be taken. Not any good for action shots but if everyone is willing to be still it's great. These were taken in the light of just 3 candles.

sony-candles
table 3 more photos HERE )

Today Gabe was looking forward to going back again - I think he likes incense (and the goatshed) as much (or even more than?) me. I used the lensbaby today.

prayer-flags
prayer flags 4 more HERE )

And one more lensbaby photo:

workbench
my workbench - working on this design for a pendant with a Biggs Jasper and something else with an ankh and a hand
summersgate: (Default)
Yesterday:
I am on the edge of the precipice standing with you, you will jump and I will not, at some point a crumpled body will fall and I will see your spirit fly away, out over this long valley heading to your real home. Away from this valley and this house that you have called home for 60 years now. I feel sick right now, soul sick, so sick that I am almost physically ill. I feel like I am dying with you. Weak and ready to collapse. It’s like there is a giant boulder rolling down a hill – your death is that moving mass, unstoppable. Moving faster or slower but always going down. I could try to stand in it’s way but I am like a fly, of no weight in these matters. My mind is so dull anymore, can’t even think. I am just a waiting thing in a limbo. Will there be life after death, your death, for me? I hope so, though I can barely imagine it. How will it transition? I can see myself in one year’s time, maybe, but how about in one week’s time? No. It’s hard to accept having such a dull and empty mind – a part of me that is in denial says I *should* be doing better, be more creative, active, interested in things. Dave agrees that it is different now – it’s just waiting and waiting. It feels so empty.

Today:
Don’t know what to eat – can’t imagine preparing any food, no matter how simple. I’ve been living on coffee and granola bars when I am at home. I tell Dave I’m hungry but don’t know what to eat, as I am reaching for a granola bar this morning. He says fry an egg – I can’t even do that. I ask, will you take care of me? (with a crack in my voice) – can I really ask someone to take care of me, the one who is supposed to take care of everyone else? He does! He makes us a breakfast of sautéed onions, eggs and tomatoes with toast. So delicious – and not a granola bar!

Goat shed time. Incense. Drawing. When I person draws they can’t think of anything else – it is like a meditation.


drawing of a sea serpent sculpture that chloe made - it sits down by my shed

Eventually I must think again though. I think about going back to the house, calling hospice to tell them that mom’s BGL was 296 this morning, which is less than the 340 it was yesterday but still high. I think about typing this up on the laptop and putting it on LJ. What picture (s) would be good with it? I think about trying to explain what mom’s condition is like now. She lays and breathes, sometimes quietly and slowly, sometimes with a ragged sound and faster. Her eyes are slit, looking down, not really looking at anything. Sometimes the slit is wider and you can see her eyes are looking up, staring at nothing. He lips move weakly – is she trying to speak? Or just preparing to swallow? I know she is in there – this isn’t a coma – though I don’t doubt we will have that later. I just think her mind is so, so far away now most of the time that it can’t reach her gestures or her face and body. Her hands are perfectly still all the time, her arms and legs floppy like a rag doll’s. Her head too. But she breathes and it seems to me like there might be a smile when I first come in the room to say hello over her bed and give her forehead a kiss. A smile before I start to do the work of taking care of her, rolling her from side to side, checking her underpads, exercising her arms and legs, washing her, trying to give her sips of liquid. She looks blank when all that is going on. I’m glad she is not in pain, not distressed at all. I hope it continues this way…

summersgate: (Default)

pinhole me at the shed

Jill couldn't come today. I did get out for a bit this morning in the back yard with the idea that I wanted to play around with the lensbaby pinhole/zone plate lens. I got it quite a while ago, took a few pictures with it and then put it away, it wasn't my favorite lens. I like the regular lensbaby lenses much better with sharp focus on certain things and blur in other places. Anyway, last night I was thinking, there must be something the pinhole is good at - I just haven't found it yet. Because it is such a tiny aperture it takes quite a while to get a photo. The exposure for the above photo was 18 seconds. The pinhole lens also has this area called "zone plate" that you can use to take photos too. The aperture isn't as small as the pinhole side - it seems to have a very simple clear plastic lens there to keep dirt out of the camera when it's being used. The pin hole side has nothing but the hole but the hole is so small I doubt dirt could get in it. You can use the zone plate aperture to see what you are framing and then slide it over to the pinhole side to take the photo. You can't see to frame with the pinhole - not enough light getting in the camera for that. Here's some more photos I took today - all around the house stuff I have taken pictures of before but I do like some of them... )
summersgate: (Default)
rose 8-28-12 haggid
morning light

In her day mom was very into growing roses and had all varieties of them planted in different places around the yard. I'm a little ashamed to say I didn't step up and start to take care of them for her when she had her stroke in 1986 so they have gone without pruning or fertiliation or even weeding all these years. There are only a few left alive growing along the east side of the house. Those ones still bloom - certainly not as strongly as they would if they got some care but they are still there! I walked around the house this morning and was surprised to see this perfect bloom. I cut it and brought it in to her and she sniffed it - barely perceptibly but I could see that she was. She always loved smelling her roses.

shiva-shadow-8-28-12
shadow this evening

Hunger - as a compulsive eater I am having a terrible time right now - the sadness and stress is getting to me I guess. Every night (and many times during the day) I feel like an animal prowling the house looking for food - sweets, chocolate, fatty foods - but we really don't have any here! If they are here, then they are quickly eaten so then they are not here anymore. We don't buy them very often so it's not too bad - but I'm still HUNGRY. I had Dave buy banana popsicles yesterday so I am having a run on them. They satisfy in quite a few ways - sweet, cold and refreshing (in this hot weather). Just finished one and now it's time for another...
summersgate: (goatshed)
shiva-8-27-12windowsill

A couple weeks ago when I was full force in Shiva mode I ordered this statue thinking it would look good in the goatshed. It does!

shiva-8-27-12

shiva-8-27-12-closeup

It's some kind of grayish molded metal but it has been electroplated with copper. An antique.

days go by

Aug. 15th, 2012 08:48 pm
summersgate: (goatshed)
Days go by and I don’t know what to write on here. I do have my personal paper journal – to really tell it like it is (over and over I’m afraid) but what am I willing to make public – what can I let strangers know about what goes on in my mind and life?

Mom isn’t doing well – well, she hasn’t been doing well for a while but she is doing worse. Has a yeast infection that just won’t quit, and now another kind of infection or something that makes her temp go up and she is very lethargic – drinks very little now and eats nothing. She was throwing up on Monday and so miserable – the nausea seems to be over for now – but the lack of thirst and lack of appetite remains. I feel like we are coming down to the home stretch. But the doctor ordered more meds for the yeast infection and Cipro for the unknown infection – we will see if that helps – it might – mom has amazing abilities to bounce back. She never bounces back to where she started of course but she does many times bounce back “to life”.

I dreamed last night that we were having a big family party at an old farmhouse that had a basement. You climbed down the wooden basement stairs to a big room, all painted gray and empty of furniture. Many of us were gathered there. It was like the upstairs was the entrance but the “real” party was in the basement. We were there to mill around and quietly talk. Someone was smoking pot in a handmade pipe and offered me some – I took a toke, something I don’t normally do anymore (in waking life). You could come down to the basement from upstairs by the indoor stairs but for some reason you couldn’t go back up that way. You had to go out by way of an outer door. For such a plain basement it was a very fancy door, with etched glass side windows on each side and a set of white painted stairs to climb up to ground level. The light was bright outside and it looked very inviting out there. End of dream.

It seems so hard to concentrate on the normal places my mind likes to go. I have been dallying with searching for a pair of walking shoes that won’t hurt my feet. That is something I actually need so it makes sense to do my addictive amazon shopping and searching for them. I don’t like to buy shoes without trying them on and I do locally look for shoes but I never find any that will work. So I’m halfheartedly looking online for bunion friendly shoes when I have free time.

hand-and-book-8-3-12
last week i finished decorating the new goatshed journal with a collaged cover and painted and collaged pages

goatshed-journal-8-14-12

succumbing
scan of a drawing i did years ago while going through a depression and now collaged into the goatshed journal - it showed up yesterday

Excerpt from my goatshed journal yesterday:

Good afternoon my little shed - I haven’t seen you for a few days – mom has been so ill I can’t get away. I yearn for the end and dread the end so much. That is why Shiva appeals to me right now – god of destruction and renewal. Praying that there will be something after “the end”. There has to be an end before there can be a beginning. Every end holds a beginning just as every beginning holds an end.

I have totally lost interest in gardening this summer – have too much to do with mom anymore – gardening has fallen by the wayside. I have decided, even more than ever, that I don’t want to garden and keep plants – too much work. I want to be free, to travel someday, to work on my art and jewelry. I can see gardening with native plants (placing them in the yard in attractive ways) but that is enough. No more potted plants or houseplants either. This could be a mood I’m going through – the real test would be to see what happens in the spring when nature awakes will I still not want to plant things then? I will need to exercise restraint at that time of year more than any other.

Watching 28 Up right now – it is comforting somehow to see that people don’t change (that much). It is OK that we don’t change – that I don’t change. We aren’t meant to change really. We are what we are, and that’s OK – all different and true to our natures.

It is so hard to forgive myself for not being more - for not having energy, for letting the garden go (it looks terrible and could look better with just a little work but I don't have the interest in it right now), for not being "happy". I imagine others are thinking the same thing about me. I logically know they aren't but it's hard not to project. Sorry...

Listening to the sound track from the “Leonard Cohen, I’m Your Man” film – different artists doing covers of Leonard Cohen songs. I love Leonard’s voice but am enjoying this too.
summersgate: (goatshed)
incense hand 8-3-12
cool new soapstone incense holder i got last week for the goatshed

Hot, hot weather right now!!! Though I did go down to the shed and take a nap this afternoon. It was hot at first (leaving the air conditioned house) and I was sweaty but after a while I got used to it and it was fine. I love sleeping out there, all the sounds of nature outside the door, burning incense in my own little space. I needed a nap - mom was up for many hours last night - seemed uncomfortable or distressed but I couldn't tell what was wrong - she had had her pain meds and I checked her all over to search for a problem but couldn't find anything. Finally around 3 am she fell asleep. I hate it that I can't communicate with her. All I can do is look at her with concern on my face and try to be clairvoyant. She seems ok now though.

1497-evening-amber-abovesma
Amber Evening - sterling, bermuda blue glass body, enamel wings, black onyx, copper, amber and glass beads.

Finally etsyfied the dragonfly necklace this afternoon - it is HERE if you want to take a look at it.

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