summersgate: (eggshells)
I write things here cause I like to read them later - or see pictures of where I have been - remember things - things that can be public.

jpopstudio-mug-left
More from Jenny Pope's studio.

I got this mug as a gift yesterday from Dave's niece Brandi. She said she just wanted to get me something to help me through, you know, the experience of cancer - something bright and cheerful. I didn't know much about her or her personality before this cause her dad, Dave's brother Bruce (who just died) divorced Brandi's mom a long time ago and I just didn't see his girls much after that (though Dave did). Came to find that she is an extraordinarily wonderful and thoughtful person (not just cause of this gift) but in so many other ways. She is the executor of the will and is handling everything in a gentle and kind way. There are problems (that I don't want to write about here) but she is handling everything so calmly and with sympathy.

Today is the day I see the oncologist. I still need to write down the questions I want to take with me. Thankfully the appointment is in the afternoon and I have the whole morning free. That feels very good. Yesterday Dave and I went back to State College again to help out with the will and dispersal of Bruce's things. Such a long day. Six hours of driving and then all the emotions while there. We both need a day to decompress after going.

I long for time to just sit in my studio making a new piece of jewelry. After looking at this mug I feel inspired to do something with butterflies. I long for bike rides and more hikes. I long for life to go back to what is was before. But for now I need to get a shower and then write down those questions. Maybe I will get a little time to work on jewelry after that...

I dreamed last night that [livejournal.com profile] zyzyly had found a little beagle dog with a cut on its forehead and wanted me to help hold it for him while he stitched the cut up. The dog was asleep or very groggy so it was easy to hold - I just needed to keep its head in the right position for him. He was very competent and quick with his stitching. Afterwards the dog was still groggy and I needed to hold it to keep it safe and still while it recovered. I imagine in the dream I am the beagle and Zyzyly represents the world of medicine. I am turning myself over to that world now and trusting.
summersgate: (eggshells)
1-18-15-the-moon
The Moon from the Quest Tarot deck

The full moon is huge - bigger than life. She is my mother - she is my Mother Moon. The Mother of the World who is greater and kinder than any other. A gentle watcher who quietly wishes us all well. Two wild creatures jump playfully at her from twin mountain peaks, above double tower gateways. I am the lobster (the one who cleans up dirty and dead things), underwater, under deep emotions. I am following the path of lights to the moon, through the gateway. I had more dreams last night (that were interesting and could have been enlightening) but, and as I have been doing lately I was lazy and let them get away. I am very lazy in many ways right now. I dream of painting. A painting, Isle of the Lost Wishes by Hundertwasser that [livejournal.com profile] jblindsight posted on her journal recently inspired me to *want* to paint something again but I haven't - yet. Even the name of the painting - Isle of the Lost Wishes - makes me think. Am I in the Isle of Lost Wishes right now? I think about painting - toy with the thought but nothing seems to inspire me so I don't do anything. My problem is that I am waiting to be inspired. From what I know about being creative is that I should just start and the inspiration will flow from that. Where to start!? But even as I ask I know the answer - start anywhere - it all comes from the same place and will go wherever it is meant to go. I am so out of practice, living underwater right now, under negative thinking...

sunday

Nov. 30th, 2014 04:26 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
1590SeeingHeart10-hand5x4
"Seeing with the Heart #10" sterling, enamel on copper and brass Listing HERE

A (relatively) warm day today (55 F) but I haven't been outside much except to fill the bird feeders. Very overcast and dark. Just keeping busy in my room. There are so many more things I want to do with eyes and hearts, hands and birds, faces, trees, insects, dragonflies and butterflies. The combinations keep going on and on. We were watching an episode of the Craft In America series (featuring jewelry maker Thomas Mann) yesterday and I was reminded that working in a series is a very viable way to proceed. I need to keep making objects with these elements until they stop speaking to me.

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