saturday

Dec. 10th, 2016 06:58 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
12-10-16-nine-of-wands-Visconti
Inspired by the Nine of Wands from the Visconti tarot deck. I don't like tarot decks as much that don't have story illustrations for the pips. The Visconti doesn't. And I couldn't remember the illustration that is usually on the 9 of wands so I just tried to come up with words from my own thoughts today. Then I looked it up and the usual illustration for this card is an injured man holding a wand as a weapon with a row of 8 more wands like a fence behind him. It looks like he is holding his own and not ready to give up the fight even though he is weary and bandaged. So don't give up! Keep on keepin' on.

I've been thinking about things I want to do - things I don't want to forget that I want to do (someday). Regularly I make lists. The lists change slowly through time as I add new things and let go of old things. My list at this point:
make 9 by 12" ceramic mosaics
sort through the basement and throw more stuff out
enamel regularly
knit and crochet cotton washcloths in the evening
hike more with Dave and Andy
etsy a day
continue making new jewelry
cut, grind and polish stones

I didn't go out at all yesterday except to get the mail so today will be my first real day out in the snow. It looks like there are about 2 or 3 inches out there.

The services for Helen are on Monday afternoon. Seeing and reading her obituary made it much more real. Sad.

Today is the last day for Dave's deer hunting. I feel like I have weathered through another year - yay!
summersgate: (view out my back door)
foggy-backyard-10-23-15

Cold this morning - only about 36. Later it's supposed to be sunny and up to 60. I want to go biking, even though I will need to go by myself.

Dave and I have been looking at popup campers. Just getting ideas - we wouldn't be able to afford one till next spring anyway but the plan is solidifying for our trip to Maine with the grandboys next summer. Acadia National Park seems to be a definite place to go and we can figure out other places too.

Once again I am trying to figure out a schedule for my life - list what I need to do to get my life in order:
1. Eat abstinently. Stop eating between meals and eat enough proper food at meals so that I am satisfied till the next meal.
2. Etsy-a-Day and make new things. I have been pretty good with this - need to keep it up.
3. Do "NetPositive" (work on the basement or the garage next door a little each day).
4. Get outside for walks, hikes, bike-rides every day that I can.

Jules got himself and the boys a Bowflex Home Gym. Rossy and he finished setting it up last night. I tried it out a little and it could be an interesting thing to do - especially if I had other people around while I did it or a movie to watch. It is in the back room (sunroom) of that house and there will be wonderful views out the windows (after I get stuff out of their garage and they can move their stored stuff from that room into their garage). Once again it all comes back to me to be the one to get rid of things. There is still stuff that belongs to my mom and dad in that garage - a big old Pfaff cabinet sewing machine that my mom loved. I need to find a good home for that. I think it is in good shape but it needs adjusted somehow. Her ironing board - that won't be hard to get rid of (Salval) but then there are boxes and boxes of "stuff" that I'm not even sure of - they might all be full of mouse nests for all I know. Stuff, stuff and more stuff that needs gone through! I feel overwhelmed by it all. Blaa. Oh well, one day at a time I guess. If I could just get started.
summersgate: (summer)
6-5-15-TheHangedMan-Chrysalis-Tarot
Celtic Owl (XII The Hanged Man) from the Chrysalis Tarot Deck

I am the one who sees in the dark - lives my life in the dark. My feathers are etched with spiderweb lines of stars. I have talons too - for gripping tightly. On my mind is a heart shaped labyrinth. I grip a tangle of pathways. I'm going to interpret this as an image of beginning and how to shape my life at this time. Today is a beginning to me - the first real day of "summer". The grandkids didn't come over this morning - Jules took off work and will be taking them to a movie. I had no alarm set to wake me (though I did wake up early anyway). I really want to get a better schedule going. I can be a night owl - staying up till past midnight most nights, then I am tired and need a nap most every day. Besides needing a nap I am just plain tired a lot of the time. Many times in the past I have tried to reshape my life so I have time to do the many things I want to do. Make time for art, time for writing, time for home organization, time for friends, time for jewelry work, time for business (etsyizing things), time for outdoor walking, swimming and biking, time for family, time for movies, time to read - time to do nothing. Lately this has been on my mind a lot. I have the wedding book that needs to be made and also a pendant. It's time to get focused and try to fit some work into my life everyday too. Maybe I could list my priorities:

1. Get jewelry and art done that has been commissioned and paid for.
2. Get my part of the basement done this summer so Dave and Jules will have free space by fall.
3. Get out and exercise and keep my body moving daily.
The above are top priorities. After that I have other priorities but they can fit in around or with the top priorities.

4. One-to-one time with friends.
5. Art and writing for my own pleasure - creative therapy.
6. Make new jewelry. More one-of-a-kind things.
7. Get my older things listed on etsy - do a daily listing if possible.
8. Sit on the back porch and do nothing (it's summer!)

I think if I can make those my priorities everything else (movies, reading, internet usage) will fall in place. But one thing I have forgotten - and that is I need time to get centered each day. Today I think I did that here with the tarot. But I need morning time to read meditation books and write affirmations everyday. That is one thing I really like about summer - the day can start slowly and I can put time into those things without the interruption of the grandkids coming over so early in the day.

Also I want to get a handle on my food again. Not go on a diet or do drastic restrictions but I am planning to write down everything I eat in a day - just so I can see it and be honest with myself again.

7-7-1-1

May. 16th, 2015 10:46 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
I came across a journaling prompt recently that someone told me about 2 years ago - I wrote it down then, but never tried it. I want to start now.

List: 7 things you did that day, 7 things you saw, 1 thing you heard, and make one drawing.

Did:
1. walked with Berdella
2. went to OA
3. went to lunch with the OA ladies and ate a spinach tomato omelet and french fries
4. communicated with Cindy E about the wedding book and ordered more paper
5. made paper
6. watched an episode of Game of Thrones from season 4
7. started my first day of 7-7-1-1
Saw:
1. a beautiful misty morning scene in the Franklin Cemetery
2. someone get their eyes popped out in a TV show - horrible
3. Milo being his calm self when Skye jumped up to surprise him
4. the windshield gathering drops of water after I washed and wiped it
5. water overflowing onto the table after watering a potted plant
6. big black square glasses like a man would wear but looking good on a woman
7. a rash getting worse on my stomach
Heard:
a man with a soft voice singing a song about what makes a home
Drawing:
5-15-15-and-5-16-15
(from my self portrait a day book)

meme 23

Dec. 4th, 2013 09:25 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Vanilla (burning a vanilla candle right now), nag champa (just put on nag champa scent oil), patchouli (just used a patchouli deodorant), hazelnut, the ocean breeze, autumn leaves, garden dirt, the smell of certain dogs, coffee, bread baking, donuts, onions frying, oranges, orange spice (with cloves), Old Spice, meat frying, my kiln when it's on, rocks being cut, wood being sawn, babies (but not their diapers), eggnog, spring in the air, cow and horse manure, pine, balsam incense, maple syrup, rubber cement, linseed oil, the charcoal block that heats up when I'm soldering... probably more things but I'm done listing for now...

One of the favorite things I used to do with my brother John was go to Bath and Body Works to try out the scents. I would open each one and squeeze it a bit so he could get a whiff and we would make sounds of mutual appreciation. We used to do it all the time when we went to the mall - just go in to smell smells to pass the time.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Looking through my laptop in a folder called "writing" I came across these today:
80 Journal Writing Prompts )
I thought I would write on #23:
If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve?

Yes I would use it! I would really like to solve the problem of all the stuff in my basement and next door! I have been working on it solidly for over a week now and am making progress but to me time spent on cleaning and sorting through things is "below" me (it's not just below me - below anyone). That's probably at the root of all my issues with clutter that builds up. If I could invent a mind controlled thing that could whoosh around and move all this stuff into the proper tubs, cleaning it as it went in and magically putting labels on everything, and move the garbage and unwanted stuff AWAY I definitely would do that. If I could be like Samantha in Bewitched and just wiggle my nose at it and everything I didn't want would disappear I would be so happy. Or like Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie and just blink my eyes at it and have a perfectly organized basement - that would be great! Anyway - I want to use magic and not time and stick-to-it-ness to do the job. I want it DONE, but dammit, to get it done I have to DO it.

onward

Sep. 12th, 2013 03:30 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
lapis-stack-finger-icon
Lapis Lazuli Stack ring - etsyfied HERE

Since I'm nearly done with the "fixing up" part of this house I'm feeling like it's time to reevaluate my priorities and figure out a new schedule for my life - have a goal. I decided that first of all:

(1) I need to commit to doing an etsy-a-day again. If I don't list new things then I'm not going to get much business so I need to do listings. I have lots of things to list already made so there is no problem there - I just need to take the hour or so to take photos of an item each day, resize them, write up a listing and plug it into the etsy format. And second of all:

(2) I need to commit to each day spending at least an hour of my day in clearing more stuff out of Jules' house and organizing the basement storage area in this house. I owe that to him! The painting and fixing up of his house isn't over yet and I want to help him with whatever he plans to do but he can't do anything till I get that stuff cleared out.

If I can stick with doing those 2 things each day, for sure (unless there is something very important getting in the way of it) then progress will be made.

red hot

Aug. 25th, 2013 05:02 pm
summersgate: (Default)

Once again sitting at my workbench waiting for the little kiln. It takes 5 minutes to fire a piece and I have a timer set for that. I am making an enameled pendant with the image of a mule's head on it, special order. I am making 2 just so she can have a choice of her favorite and the other I will put up for sale on etsy later. I'd like to have them done today so I can email the customer a pic and I can get her chosen one mailed before or on Wednesday. Jules is taking the day off tomorrow and we are taking the boys up to Lake Erie for the day (a last day of summer vacation road trip) so Monday won't be a work day at all.

We took Johnny back to college today so it really is an empty nest house now (except we do see the grandboys all the time but no kids living with us). The grandboys start school on Tuesday so things are really going to be quiet around here soon. Dave will be going back to work too and I will be alone all day, every week day. I'm ok with that - just going to be very different. I have a list of things to keep me busy:
Get handmade books ready for the Transit Gallery.
Etsy-A-Day.
Basement!!!
Clear stuff out of kitchen and living room next door.
Paint our living/dining room in this house.
Finish that mosaic table I started last winter - it is going to be the dining table here.





big day

Jul. 12th, 2013 10:47 am
summersgate: (Default)

finished painting

I finished painting the bedroom yesterday and today I'm hoping to get things moved in. All the stuff I want to do today is swimming in my head. List:
Finish a commissioned piece and get it mailed off.
Put up curtain rods and curtains.
Bring over my clothes and shoes and organize them in the closet. I want to have everything in order this time. Sleeveless blouses, short sleeve, long sleeve, skirts, dresses, shawls. As it is now I have to filter through the whole bunch from end to end to find something and in my future perfect world I will be able to find things easily.
Take the giant (3) stacks of unread books (mainly novels) from the old bedroom to the basement bookshelves. That was also part of my future perfect world plan. Amass books that I would read at night before bed instead of watching tv at night. That is still my plan but I can't read as fast as I find books I want to read.
Tonight take Gabe and his new girlfriend to the skating rink.
Can't forget - first of all today - need to eat breakfast, do yesterday's dishes and fill the hummingbird feeders.





friday

May. 18th, 2012 01:27 pm
summersgate: (OPADI)

hope

Jill will be back tonight for the first time since Monday so Dave and I will have our date night. I have been down lately. Mom's cough. Worry. Not sleeping well at night. So terribly tired in the daytime and wanting to escape in sleep. Long hours and days in the house being responsible (though I did get out for breakfast with Nancy yesterday - I thank Chloe for that). I start to wonder where is the joy, where is "life"? I guess I have to find the joy, seek it out, ferret it out. I have wanted to make a fabulous work of art - something to express myself, this place I am in - but nothing gets me inspired to start. Every day that goes by and I don't create something the hole gets deeper and darker. I decided to just start today with painting backgrounds on pieces of paper - then I can collage something onto each one (maybe) and then paint on them too.


36 papers to start on

i am the one who loves to see her smile
i am the one who struggles with her arm and her body
i am the one who watches for birds
i am the one who hates my life
i am the one who longs for something different
i am the one who catches glimpses of the sublime
i am the one who loses myself
i am the one who worries
i am the one who manages
i am the one who longs for sleep
i am the one who wants it to be over
i am the one who dreads the end so terribly
i am the one who sits and waits
i am the one who listens
i am the one who is kind
i am the one who loses patience
i am the one who lives in overwhelming clutter
i am the one who loves
i am the one who wears black
i am the one who is wired to be alone
i am the one who longs to create
i am the one who lives with guilt
i am the one who longs for dreams
i am the one who wants to fly
i am the one who wants to retire simply to a house in the forest
i am the one who has a black and shriveled heart
i am the one who has the ability to heal
i am the one who wants to die
i am the one who wants to live
i am the one who wants to be heard
i am the one who forgets
i am the one who is afraid
i am the one who feels time is running out
i am the one who has long hair to hide in
i am the one who is scarred
i am the one who will live on


I wrote this list this morning as a starting guide to what each little painting might be. When they are done I want to bind them into a book. I feel better now - I have a project to focus on...
summersgate: (Default)
1. Something I’m perturbed about: that Jill is sick and can’t come. Not that I am perturbed at her – just perturbed by the situation. Feeling trapped here (as I have a tendency to do). This is the second day that I have been stuck here all day.

2. Looking forward to: making a new Everything Book. The present one is nearly done and I’m looking forward to making a new one – I think I will do the form of the new one the same as the one I’m using now – a collage image on one side of the page spread and a blank white space in the middle of the other side with colors painted all around that will go with the collaged image.

3. Something annoying: how mom tilts to the side so much and needs propped up – she spills her drink so easy when she is tilted.

4. Looking forward to getting done and over with: compiling and getting ready the information for the income taxes. I was waiting till after Kathy left to get into that so now’s the time.

5. A movie I enjoyed watching: The Visitor by Thomas McCarthy – the same guy who did The Station Agent (which I really liked). It stars Richard Jenkins (who played the dad in Six Feet Under).

6. Exciting: Melancholia should arrive tomorrow from netflix – I can finally see it!

7. A picture I took last Saturday when Kathy and I were catching the magic hour:


8. Worried (still) about: Tenzing – yesterday he was out of breath twice and panting – I’m afraid it is his heart – it is enlarged and maybe this is congestive heart failure. He likes to pace around endlessly and he was panting as he went. I finally stopped him and held him so he could be still and catch his breath. Today though he has been ok so far…

9. Something I’m not going to do today: eat crackers with peanut butter and jelly. I eat too many and then I get so sleepy. They taste too good. I did just eat a small bowl of orange sherbert - that's ok. A little bit will satisfy and I can be done.

10. Working: finished a ring for an etsy customer this morning – good to spend time in the workshop and be productive.
summersgate: (Default)
1. Something I’m perturbed about: that Jill is sick and can’t come. Not that I am perturbed at her – just perturbed by the situation. Feeling trapped here (as I have a tendency to do). This is the second day that I have been stuck here all day.

2. Looking forward to: making a new Everything Book. The present one is nearly done and I’m looking forward to making a new one – I think I will do the form of the new one the same as the one I’m using now – a collage image on one side of the page spread and a blank white space in the middle of the other side with colors painted all around that will go with the collaged image.

3. Something annoying: how mom tilts to the side so much and needs propped up – she spills her drink so easy when she is tilted.

4. Looking forward to getting done and over with: compiling and getting ready the information for the income taxes. I was waiting till after Kathy left to get into that so now’s the time.

5. A movie I enjoyed watching: The Visitor by Thomas McCarthy – the same guy who did The Station Agent (which I really liked). It stars Richard Jenkins (who played the dad in Six Feet Under).

6. Exciting: Melancholia should arrive tomorrow from netflix – I can finally see it!

7. A picture I took last Saturday when Kathy and I were catching the magic hour:


8. Worried (still) about: Tenzing – yesterday he was out of breath twice and panting – I’m afraid it is his heart – it is enlarged and maybe this is congestive heart failure. He likes to pace around endlessly and he was panting as he went. I finally stopped him and held him so he could be still and catch his breath. Today though he has been ok so far…

9. Something I’m not going to do today: eat crackers with peanut butter and jelly. I eat too many and then I get so sleepy. They taste too good. I did just eat a small bowl of orange sherbert - that's ok. A little bit will satisfy and I can be done.

10. Working: finished a ring for an etsy customer this morning – good to spend time in the workshop and be productive.

monday 10

Feb. 27th, 2012 10:27 am
summersgate: (Default)
1. Sunny today again.

2. The snow of the previous days is mostly gone, only clinging to the shadowy places.

3. Jill isn't coming today so no day off - and she didn't come Saturday either - I fear she is sick, very sick again and won't be back for a while. That is my fear but I try not to think about it - just plan around it, keep my expectations low and hope for the best.

4. Back room is done (as done as it needs to be right now anyway). It is ready for Kathy to use it as her bedroom when she gets here on Wednesday night. The daybed is in place with a brand new mattress and I found a nice comforter and sheet set that I freshly laundered for it.

5. Today - clean kitchen for the upcoming party. So much clutter, so much disgusting dust and grime on things that aren't used often.

6. I want to have women's writers group here tomorrow in case Jill is sick again - at least I will be at group if everyone comes here.

7. Dreamed last night about a man who presented himself as a person who had the answers to happiness. He held classes and seminars. Dave and I were going to one. It was in a building in Franklin but as usual this was the "Dream Franklin" - unlike the real Franklin. Dream Franklin has many alleys and tunnels through the buildings and stairs all through the buildings - the buildings are all connected inside and you can go the length of the town and not leave the inside of the buildings. We were searching and searching for the address to the seminar. Finally we found a plain doorway with a small sign that said, "#50, #51, #52, #53 etc" or something like that. We were looking for #50 I think. Once you opened the door there were not stairs to go up, instead there was a ridge that ran up the wall and you had to cling to that and climb up that way. It looked very hard but I tried it and did get up to the level of the seminar. It was a couples seminar and we all sat in a circle. A white haired man with the help of a dark haired girl was leading the seminar. After a while it was pretty plain that he was a fraud - he didn't know how to find happiness - he only knew how to teach you to look like you were happy. Another couple also thought he was a fraud and wanted us leave and to go with them for coffee. But I didn't want to go with them either. I thought that maybe if I could learn to act happy it might help me to be happy too. I was willing to at least give that a try. But I wanted to remember that I was only acting - I didn't want to fall for the scam. Also it was important that I stay with Dave and be with him in the dream. That we agree to do whatever we did together. There was more to the dream - a big storm in Sugarcreek and we were wandering through the destruction. Meeting people and talking to them. Dave talking to them more than I was. But I was connecting to people too in a more subtle way. We were helping people.

8. The part about acting happy makes me think about blogging or online journaling. Who is really happy? Who is really getting that much done. It all depends on what you write about. You can mention every single thing you do, take before and after photos of what you did, and look productive - anyone can look productive if they want. You can mention all the good things in your life (everyone has them somewhere) and look happy. Or you can mention the unhappy things and look depressed and overwhelmed. (When I say you I mean me.) While in reality it is all a mixture. But the 12 step slogan, "what you focus on grows" is so true. If I focus on the good it grows, if I focus on gratitude my life gets better, if I focus on the good in others they get better. I can change my life - I can find happiness.

9. Oops - overcast now - the sun is gone.

10. Gratitude list:
Every day Jill misses it's like I earn $80.
Music - ipod playing my favorite music right now.
My health is good.
I have Dave in my life.
Clean and sparkling cupboards will be nice.

Un-gratitude list:
Tenzing is still whining with discomfort at times. The thought of having to put him down still looms over us.
I dislike overcast days - baaa!
I'd rather be at my workbench than cleaning in the kitchen.
I'd rather have Jill here and have a day off than have the money.
(Just wanted to throw that in to be honest)

monday 10

Feb. 27th, 2012 10:27 am
summersgate: (Default)
1. Sunny today again.

2. The snow of the previous days is mostly gone, only clinging to the shadowy places.

3. Jill isn't coming today so no day off - and she didn't come Saturday either - I fear she is sick, very sick again and won't be back for a while. That is my fear but I try not to think about it - just plan around it, keep my expectations low and hope for the best.

4. Back room is done (as done as it needs to be right now anyway). It is ready for Kathy to use it as her bedroom when she gets here on Wednesday night. The daybed is in place with a brand new mattress and I found a nice comforter and sheet set that I freshly laundered for it.

5. Today - clean kitchen for the upcoming party. So much clutter, so much disgusting dust and grime on things that aren't used often.

6. I want to have women's writers group here tomorrow in case Jill is sick again - at least I will be at group if everyone comes here.

7. Dreamed last night about a man who presented himself as a person who had the answers to happiness. He held classes and seminars. Dave and I were going to one. It was in a building in Franklin but as usual this was the "Dream Franklin" - unlike the real Franklin. Dream Franklin has many alleys and tunnels through the buildings and stairs all through the buildings - the buildings are all connected inside and you can go the length of the town and not leave the inside of the buildings. We were searching and searching for the address to the seminar. Finally we found a plain doorway with a small sign that said, "#50, #51, #52, #53 etc" or something like that. We were looking for #50 I think. Once you opened the door there were not stairs to go up, instead there was a ridge that ran up the wall and you had to cling to that and climb up that way. It looked very hard but I tried it and did get up to the level of the seminar. It was a couples seminar and we all sat in a circle. A white haired man with the help of a dark haired girl was leading the seminar. After a while it was pretty plain that he was a fraud - he didn't know how to find happiness - he only knew how to teach you to look like you were happy. Another couple also thought he was a fraud and wanted us leave and to go with them for coffee. But I didn't want to go with them either. I thought that maybe if I could learn to act happy it might help me to be happy too. I was willing to at least give that a try. But I wanted to remember that I was only acting - I didn't want to fall for the scam. Also it was important that I stay with Dave and be with him in the dream. That we agree to do whatever we did together. There was more to the dream - a big storm in Sugarcreek and we were wandering through the destruction. Meeting people and talking to them. Dave talking to them more than I was. But I was connecting to people too in a more subtle way. We were helping people.

8. The part about acting happy makes me think about blogging or online journaling. Who is really happy? Who is really getting that much done. It all depends on what you write about. You can mention every single thing you do, take before and after photos of what you did, and look productive - anyone can look productive if they want. You can mention all the good things in your life (everyone has them somewhere) and look happy. Or you can mention the unhappy things and look depressed and overwhelmed. (When I say you I mean me.) While in reality it is all a mixture. But the 12 step slogan, "what you focus on grows" is so true. If I focus on the good it grows, if I focus on gratitude my life gets better, if I focus on the good in others they get better. I can change my life - I can find happiness.

9. Oops - overcast now - the sun is gone.

10. Gratitude list:
Every day Jill misses it's like I earn $80.
Music - ipod playing my favorite music right now.
My health is good.
I have Dave in my life.
Clean and sparkling cupboards will be nice.

Un-gratitude list:
Tenzing is still whining with discomfort at times. The thought of having to put him down still looms over us.
I dislike overcast days - baaa!
I'd rather be at my workbench than cleaning in the kitchen.
I'd rather have Jill here and have a day off than have the money.
(Just wanted to throw that in to be honest)

list

Jan. 25th, 2012 11:25 am
summersgate: (Default)

mom

Doing right now: sitting beside mom while she drinks her morning hot chocolate.
Watching: trying to finish watching "The Tree of Life" - very boring to me though and slow so far - I should just put it on in the background to get through it.
Reading: a book about jewelry making textures and techniques, "Silversmithing for Jewelry Makers".
Waiting for: a new shipment of enamels - opalescent colors - I have never used any of the Japanese leaded opalescents before and I have high hopes for how I think they might improve the look of my enamels.
Thinking of: this list I am making.
To do today: work in studio when I can and take care of mom - Jill is sick and not coming.
Worried about: Tenzing - he is on a new pain med now and he seems to be even worse with incontinence and being wobbly.
Wanting to read: want to look at and "read through" the Motherpeace tarot deck I got a couple weeks ago.
Feeling good about: I'm feeling more balanced and accepting of the pace that I can get things done around here.
Feeling bad about: the same thing as above - I'm not really totally at the acceptance point - I want to do more art in my day!
Wearing: housedress - one thing good about being home all day - I can be comfortable.
Challenges: not reacting to kids and their drama and disruption.
Eating: bran muffin, baked fish and smashed potatoes with butter for lunch, spaghetti for dinner - little tangerines whenever I want - that's my plan anyway.
Weather - dark, dull and overcast but not too cold - just a little above freezing.
Need: cardboard boxes so I can get started packing up stuff from the back room that will be going to Salvation Army or Goodwill.
Sorry for: Dave - his back is giving him problems again and he can't do much except walk around and putter - I guess that is better than being flat on his back in bed though...
Excitement: Dave got the mail and my crystal ball has arrived!

list

Jan. 25th, 2012 11:25 am
summersgate: (Default)

mom

Doing right now: sitting beside mom while she drinks her morning hot chocolate.
Watching: trying to finish watching "The Tree of Life" - very boring to me though and slow so far - I should just put it on in the background to get through it.
Reading: a book about jewelry making textures and techniques, "Silversmithing for Jewelry Makers".
Waiting for: a new shipment of enamels - opalescent colors - I have never used any of the Japanese leaded opalescents before and I have high hopes for how I think they might improve the look of my enamels.
Thinking of: this list I am making.
To do today: work in studio when I can and take care of mom - Jill is sick and not coming.
Worried about: Tenzing - he is on a new pain med now and he seems to be even worse with incontinence and being wobbly.
Wanting to read: want to look at and "read through" the Motherpeace tarot deck I got a couple weeks ago.
Feeling good about: I'm feeling more balanced and accepting of the pace that I can get things done around here.
Feeling bad about: the same thing as above - I'm not really totally at the acceptance point - I want to do more art in my day!
Wearing: housedress - one thing good about being home all day - I can be comfortable.
Challenges: not reacting to kids and their drama and disruption.
Eating: bran muffin, baked fish and smashed potatoes with butter for lunch, spaghetti for dinner - little tangerines whenever I want - that's my plan anyway.
Weather - dark, dull and overcast but not too cold - just a little above freezing.
Need: cardboard boxes so I can get started packing up stuff from the back room that will be going to Salvation Army or Goodwill.
Sorry for: Dave - his back is giving him problems again and he can't do much except walk around and putter - I guess that is better than being flat on his back in bed though...
Excitement: Dave got the mail and my crystal ball has arrived!

friday

Dec. 30th, 2011 11:58 am
summersgate: (winter)

sitting on mom's bed - i like how the plastic adds extra colors around the shadows

I do plan to get out today - shopping at Giant Eagle later. I want to take the plastic lens out in the yard too if I can. It's raining now - as it seems to have been doing for days, if not sleeting, drizzling or snowing. Will the sun ever shine again? The weather says there might be sun tomorrow afternoon and then next week on Thursday and Friday it might peek out again. I don't like to complain that much here but can I complain a little about the lack of sun?

Good things:
plastic lens!
Dave
Mom is healthy - we all are healthy
new tarot deck to study - the Wildwood Tarot
the days are getting longer - very gradually
I have a car and I can go places

friday

Dec. 30th, 2011 11:58 am
summersgate: (winter)

sitting on mom's bed - i like how the plastic adds extra colors around the shadows

I do plan to get out today - shopping at Giant Eagle later. I want to take the plastic lens out in the yard too if I can. It's raining now - as it seems to have been doing for days, if not sleeting, drizzling or snowing. Will the sun ever shine again? The weather says there might be sun tomorrow afternoon and then next week on Thursday and Friday it might peek out again. I don't like to complain that much here but can I complain a little about the lack of sun?

Good things:
plastic lens!
Dave
Mom is healthy - we all are healthy
new tarot deck to study - the Wildwood Tarot
the days are getting longer - very gradually
I have a car and I can go places
summersgate: (Default)
Should I even write about my life and what I am thinking? So much of it seems negative to me right now. But I will try.

Influences:
1. Sita Sings the Blues – animated film I have been watching. I really like it.
2. Mandalas – trying to come up with ideas for my own mandalas.
3. Being grandma in the evenings this week – I need to figure out and cook a dinner that kids will like – and I don’t get an afternoon nap either - boo.
4. The Dinner Party – book by Judy Chicago about her sculpture. The plates are mandalas too – and quite attractive. Reading the book I am amazed by the amount of hard work, research and soul searching she had to do to create this piece.
5. Depression – and FIGHTING it the best I can. This is the 4th day in a row I have been stuck inside this house with mom all day. Jill has been sick a lot lately. Missed 2 days last week and all of this week so far. I do my affirmations and try to stick to my schedule cause I know that helps. But it is a constant struggle against self-pity. Just not having Jill come wouldn’t mean this much isolation to me except that Dave is in his fall hunting mode and leaves the house before 5 am and doesn’t come home till late at night. This is my loneliest time of the year.

We have had so much rain lately – day after day after day. But for 2 minutes just before sunset tonight the sun broke through and I saw this on the kitchen wall. It all passed so quickly - the second photo I took it was already faded:



Now – gratitude list:
1. Grandkids to keep me company tonight.
2. I do have control of my life and what I do with it – my life and lifestyle are my choice.
3. I have so many things to keep me occupied – art, movies, films, tv shows, reading, jewelry work.
4. Income to be able to buy gifts for others for Christmas.
5. I figured out something easy for dinner – a frozen pizza!
summersgate: (Default)
Should I even write about my life and what I am thinking? So much of it seems negative to me right now. But I will try.

Influences:
1. Sita Sings the Blues – animated film I have been watching. I really like it.
2. Mandalas – trying to come up with ideas for my own mandalas.
3. Being grandma in the evenings this week – I need to figure out and cook a dinner that kids will like – and I don’t get an afternoon nap either - boo.
4. The Dinner Party – book by Judy Chicago about her sculpture. The plates are mandalas too – and quite attractive. Reading the book I am amazed by the amount of hard work, research and soul searching she had to do to create this piece.
5. Depression – and FIGHTING it the best I can. This is the 4th day in a row I have been stuck inside this house with mom all day. Jill has been sick a lot lately. Missed 2 days last week and all of this week so far. I do my affirmations and try to stick to my schedule cause I know that helps. But it is a constant struggle against self-pity. Just not having Jill come wouldn’t mean this much isolation to me except that Dave is in his fall hunting mode and leaves the house before 5 am and doesn’t come home till late at night. This is my loneliest time of the year.

We have had so much rain lately – day after day after day. But for 2 minutes just before sunset tonight the sun broke through and I saw this on the kitchen wall. It all passed so quickly - the second photo I took it was already faded:



Now – gratitude list:
1. Grandkids to keep me company tonight.
2. I do have control of my life and what I do with it – my life and lifestyle are my choice.
3. I have so many things to keep me occupied – art, movies, films, tv shows, reading, jewelry work.
4. Income to be able to buy gifts for others for Christmas.
5. I figured out something easy for dinner – a frozen pizza!

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