dream

Mar. 4th, 2017 07:47 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
Last night I had a dream where I was down by the goat shed and was coming back home when I saw a swarm of butterflies in a bush. I wanted to run home (we were still living in the parental homestead) to get my camera to get a photo. As I was going I saw a flock of ruby-throated hummingbirds circling overhead. First I was counting and it seemed like maybe 50 then 200, then 1000, then it was solid hummingbirds overhead. It looked like a reddish shimmery pancake floating in the sky. I got to the house and got the camera and came out and the neighbor (who in the dream lived in the house we live in now) was out in the yard with his tractor mowing the grass. The tractor was a giant sized farm tractor (very frightening) and the smoke and dust it was putting out was filling the world so the hummingbirds were gone and the butterflies had flown. I woke up disappointed.

Don't know what that means.

Just now looked up what a group of butterflies and flock of hummingbirds is called. A group of butterflies is officially called a kaleidoscope, although they are sometimes referred to as a swarm. Groups of caterpillars are called an army. Hummingbirds can be called a charm, a hovering or a troubling.

A skim of snow on the ground this morning.

Watched a really weird movie last night - so weird! It was called Swiss Army Man. I really loved the soundtrack and had to order the CD.
summersgate: (eggshells)
P1040389-jan
Jan and I walked on the hiking trail on the south east side of Lake Wilhelm this morning. Cold and snowing lightly. At one point we had 3 eagles circling over us in the snowy air. 3 more HERE. )

Came home and looked at online chicken coops. I haven't totally given up the dream of having my own chickens. Dave isn't very interested but I could get one of those little coops and put it together myself - big enough to house 2 chickens. You can even order them online from Walmart with free shipping. It's tempting.

Got terribly tired and took a long nap. Got up around 6 and ate the last of some lentil soup I had made a few days ago. I am trying to remember to make lentil soup once a week or so. It's a very good protein.

Watching the movie Full Metal Jacket tonight. Disturbing. Made in 1987. I must have watched it a long time ago but then forgotten a lot. It's hard for me not to feel affected.

friday

Jan. 27th, 2017 06:43 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Movies. "Me Before You". Just my kind of movie - sad - sweet and it makes you smile. Heartrending too. Sam Claflin plays a young quadriplegic man and Emilia Clarke is wonderful as an adorable caregiver. Gets my recommendation. Jan lent us a lot of the "Vikings" DVDs and we are starting them now.

P1040022-end-of-the-road
End of the road - where the gully starts. Rossy and I walked with Andy to the creek and lake this afternoon - I wanted to show him where you can climb down into the gully and go to the lake from there. More HERE )

Andy was very good for me on the walk - stayed close - most the time. Though he must have eaten something rotten when I couldn't see him cause as soon as we got in the house he threw up a big pile. Yuck.

Other than the walk to the lake and watching "Me Before You" I have had a big day of painting and working on my art project. Just 8 more faces left to paint of the 16.

style

Jan. 24th, 2017 09:43 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
cracker-barrel-style
My style.

Dave and I went to Meadville this morning so he could get his eye treatment (the doctor said he can see some improvement now) and then we ate lunch at Cracker Barrel. Who would have thought that Cracker Barrel carries my style? Came home, took a quick nap and then it was time to meet with Nancy, Deb and Jan for supper. Nice to catch up with Deb who I haven't seen for a while. Came home, took out the garbage and now Dave and I are watching (re-watching) Oh Brother Where Art Thou? Crochet time...

movies

Jan. 19th, 2017 08:35 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Dave and I were discussing more of our favorite movies:
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Coneheads. (watching it tonight)
summersgate: (view out my back door)
_DSC0222-light
White.

This afternoon I was surprised when I looked out the kitchen window and everything looked so "white". I went out and got some pictures of the fog rising up out of the creek and the sun hitting it over a period of time. More HERE )

Today Johnny is putting the new bigger hard drive into my laptop. I'm on Dave's computer at the moment in the living room. I hope it turns out okay. Doing the information recovery now. Do or die!!!!!

This morning Hazel and I drove to Pittsburgh so she could meet with her gender wellness doctor. Afterwards we ate at what is now becoming our favorite Chinese buffet on Forbes Ave. They have lots of vegetarian options. We had a good time walking around Oakland. On the way out of the city we missed a turn and ended up near downtown - which wasn't too bad - just a long detour. I'm glad Hazel was driving - she is very calm and takes to city driving much better than I do. Though by the time we got home I was exhausted and went to bed for a while.

I've started doing stretching exercises for my heel and think it feels better already.

We've been (re)watching Groundhog Day this evening. One of my all time most favorite movies. I think as a movie I have probably re-watched it more times than any other movie - that's interesting in itself.

maps

Jan. 15th, 2017 08:45 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
1-15-17-made-up-map
Drawing of a made-up map - not of anything for sure but kind of patterned after the trail to the the Kennerdell lookout in the Clear Creek Forest Kennerdell Tract. I love maps. If I was to choose a nickname for myself it would be "Maps". Dave and I are taking Andy for a walk somewhere today - not sure where yet. I got out my map folder to show him some possible places with trails and we looked through it early this morning.

Yesterday afternoon we (me, Johnny, Jules and his kids) went to the remodeled Iris theater in Cochranton to see Doctor Strange. The Iris is a theater that used to be run by a old couple - they only showed PG13 or lower movies and it was cheap. It was a fixture of the community for 70 years but as they got too old to run it it finally closed. A church in the area took it under their wing and remodeled it and now it is reopened. It has a coffee shop in the front that is open all day long and the theater in the back. It looks like it is succeeding to give young people a place to go. I liked the movie - though usually I'm not into super hero movies at all. There were lots of Tibetan scenes and psychedelic magic, and Benedict Cumberbatch as the hero and Mads Mikkelsen as the villain made it fun to watch. Plus I think Tilda Swinton is fascinating. Afterwards we drove to Meadville and ate at the 100 Item Buffet. The 2 TV's on the wall played a loop of film showing a mini documentary of pandas. It was fun to watch. Two things in one day that were fun to watch.

lovely

Jan. 10th, 2017 07:01 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
1717-Gypsy-hanging4x3
"Gypsy" pendant - sterling, enamel on copper and tiger-eye bead. Listing HERE

This is another pendant where I made use of a really lovely hand-painted enamel face from my friend Cindy R.

My day: Dave and I took the Kia to Meadville this morning to see what was wrong with the four wheel drive. It needed to be put on a diagnostic computer. The actuator is bad. I have an idea what that is but not a real understanding of it. I think Dave is going to try and get a used part and get it fixed. It would be way too much money to have it fixed at the dealership. We had breakfast in Perkins while we waited. Raining lots today - melting away the snow. Came home and fooled around with more preparation of pages from LJ that I want to someday print off. We went back and picked the car up. I drove the Kia the long way home and took the road through the Geneva Swamp and French Creek valley while Dave stayed back and shopped at Walmart. Came home and did some computer work and then finished this pendant. Dave just came in and asked me if I want to watch the movie, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children with him. I do - so will finish this up...

Last night we watched the movie, Song of the Sea. It's an animated movie by the same people who made The Secret of Kells. I loved it. It even made me cry - which always makes me give a high rating.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Finally got all the ceramic parts glued down on the mosaic. Here's a photo of it transformed by the "percolator" app:

mosiac-ceramics
Looks better in percolator than reality (in my opinion). I think I will like it better when it's all filled in with stained glass. The original photo. )

Watching "Harry and Tonto" at the moment. 1974 - Art Carney and his cat. I remember 1974 - I was hitching across the country to California with Pat, living on the Russian River and becoming a first time mother that year. We just got to the part in the movie when Art gets a car, meets the girl hitchhiker and they are making a side trip to see his first love - I'm liking where this is going...

end of day

Sep. 16th, 2016 08:41 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Didn't get all I wanted done today. Took a nap in the tent but didn't take it down. I figure there will still be some time to enjoy it before winter and there will be another dry spell for dismantling it before winter too.

Hazel saw a little goldfinch hopping, flopping around the front yard this afternoon. My first thought - leave it alone. We did. But it was still there a half hour later so she moved it farther back in the yard, away from where the cars park. Another half hour goes by and I start to think it might be an injured adult and maybe if we kept it safe for a while it could heal. I cleaned up an aquarium tank and set it up with a branch, water, grit and sunflower seeds. The little birdie was very active hopping around but never eating or drinking. Dave came home and we looked it up. Very possibly it was just a young bird that couldn't fly yet and it needed it's parents to take care of it. The article said to put the bird in a bush or low tree so we did around 7 o'clock. It hopped through the branches and seemed to know what it was doing. I heard lots of pipping from some birds in a nearby tree. I hope it was the parents. So that took up some of my day.

Other than that my day did go as I expected. The mosaic back board got painted white, I re-fired some of the ceramic frit elements (still don't like them), and I waxed Heather's necklace so it won't oxidize so fast. I watched the movie/cartoon The Triplets of Belleville (I liked it a lot - clever and strange) and a movie I am watching now - Me and Earl and the Dying Girl - both recommendations from fellow LJers. Glad I got them.

thursday

Aug. 5th, 2016 12:06 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
Spent most of the day in the basement - making 200 new clay leaves for the pear tree, 150 little cobblestone pieces and 100 new flowers - daisies this time. This evening Sebby and I biked around Lake Wilhelm. Then tonight Dave and I watched the movie, The Finest Hours. Pretty good - (the story of bravery was inspiring) but some parts were distracting - the fakey way the snow looked, the fakey way some people acted and some of the lighting situations.

monday

Aug. 1st, 2016 10:04 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
sebby-sun-8-1-16-sandy-cree
Sebby in the sun on the wet Sandy Creek trail tonight.

Worked on redoing A LOT of the mosaic today. Made a new spruce tree out of fresh clay and I am redrawing the path that leads you into the picture and back hills too. Tonight Dave and Sebby and I had dinner at the Jumbo Buffet. While we were eating a rain came and wet everything but it was all over by the time we got out of the restaurant. Then we biked 5 miles up the Sandy Creek trail - water dripping out of the trees beside the trail but clearing blue sky and clouds scattering overhead. A mist was coming up in places. Coming back down the Sandy Creek trail is so easy - you barely have to pedal and I thought I would try and see how fast I could go. I got it up to 18 miles mph but then the front wheel on the bumpy pavement started shaking so much I got scared and slowed down. Came home - and here I am. We are watching the movie called, "A Brilliant Young Mind" tonight - about a gifted autistic math student and his teacher who has MS.

Learned about "stuffing a kong" today. That means putting food and treats into hard rubber dog toys called kongs. The dog has to work with their tongue to get the food out and that keeps them occupied. If you soften their kibble with water before you stuff it in and freeze it then it takes them even longer to get it out. We had a good day - Andy happily busy getting his meals out of his kong, with play and training times interspersed. We have switched to not putting any food in his bowl anymore. We carry his kibble in our pockets and he has to behave to get his food as "treats" as the day goes on. He had no time to get into trouble stealing things he shouldn't.

aug-1-2016-i-now-know-what-
summersgate: (eggshells)
Where I can eat popcorn for dinner.
Where I have a kiln packed and started to fire (what I hope will be) the last of the glazed things for this mosaic. I will have overglazes to do still but the glazing will be done if this turns out well.
Where I can watch a 3 1/2 hour movie at my leisure (Exodus - another movie screen written by Dalton Trumbo).
Where it is dark and raining outside right now and I am dry inside.
Where I have a dog that woke up this morning in a loving mood and stayed that way, just like I did.
Where I biked this morning with a friend 10 miles on the Ernst trail. We started in the fog and watched it burn away to blue sky with puffy clouds - rich summer colors.
Where later I have calming business book work to do and a refrigerator to clean - but I am totally good with that.
summersgate: (eggshells)
ceramic-studio-7-20-16--3
Coming to my basement studio first thing this morning. Strange lighting effects coming through the garage door windows. The upper part of the room has a yellow/green hue to it and the floor is normal. I think it is because the green lighting is coming from sun reflected off green trees outside the window and only hitting the top part of the room and the light on the floor comes down directly out of the sky.

I've been keeping busy with glazing parts for the mosaic and planning how things will look. The basement is a good place to be on hot day. Enjoying it a lot - listening to music shuffled on the ipad. Now I'm thinking of other ceramic mosaic projects I might like to do. My creativity seems to be waking up. My current recreation is creation - a state of mind I haven't related to for a while - I was wondering if something was wrong with me because my constant thinking about art used to be such a big part of my life.

Some ceramic elements didn't turn out up to par and I will have to redo them. The rocks I made are really beautiful but they don't look like "rocks" - so I need to make more in just a dull matte tan color. And the flowers didn't turn out well - the glaze was too thick and lost the details so I need to remake them too. But I'm thinking the rocks I made will look great somewhere else - in a new mosaic.

I have been watching a lot less TV - happy about that. Though last night Dave and I did watch a movie - "Hello, my Name is Delores". I related so much to her. The caregiving, the hoarding and attachment to memories in the form of things, the shyness. When mom had her stroke (a month before the wedding) I was considering calling it off with Dave so I could take care of mom and John - not saddle Dave with it all too. But his friends convinced him he shouldn't let me do that. The best thing that could have ever happened to me. A burden shared is so much lighter.

Today is Hazel's 18th birthday - starting a new life as an adult. We won't have an official party today but we plan to do things she likes like swim in the creek and have a fire down there. I'm going to make her a set of bangle bracelets - need to get busy with that...

thursday

Jul. 14th, 2016 10:05 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Another hot day, not as hot as yesterday though.

Dave and I took the car for an oil change and tire rotation this morning. Rossy came along. Shopped at Walmart and then ate lunch at Subway while we waited. We found some good movies in the big bargain bin. Watching Attica at the moment.

Tonight I started underglazing and then glazing the first of 3 coats on some of the ceramic pieces. I have been having perfectionist syndrome lately and it's been keeping me from moving forward. I decided to just "do it" and if it doesn't look right, later I can remake it - but I needed to stop procrastinating. I quite enjoyed myself tonight listening to music as I worked in the cool basement - till my feet started hurting from standing too long.

sunday

May. 29th, 2016 06:33 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Lovely, lovely rain. At the moment.

Earlier Rossy and Gabe and I went swimming in the creek. We went up to the bend, where it got shallow and then floated on inner tubes back down. There was a place on the far bank with the smell of death. Turned me off. That's as far as we went. But before that it was so pleasant to float slowly, turning in circles, listening to different bird songs, looking at different trees and bushes, 10,000 polliwogs near the banks. Then the young ones went down the rapids 3 times while I watched. A group of people were farther down the creek. I could smell their cigarette smoke even when I couldn't see them.

Back home, a warm shower then a nap in the tent. I am obsessed with the tent and with spending time in it. Listening to the rain pattering on the roof. Loving the intimacy of an outdoor airy enclosure.

Dinner. Baked haddock, sugar carrots and basmati rice with butter.

Watching Junebug at the moment.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Sometimes when I wake up at 3 am to go the bathroom, this is what I find:

andy-3am-bathroom

We watched a little gem of a movie last night - Prince Avalanche. So simple - just 2 guys out painting lines on the back roads. They only have each other's company all week long in their remote camp but they aren't very compatible. It's about acceptance and being real. Funny too. It also remainded me of stories my dad used to tell about his old days in the highway department. They used to paint lines on the roads this way back in the 1930's - with a wheeled bucket you pushed down the middle of the road.

thursday

Apr. 7th, 2016 09:52 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
I found out today that Jill, the woman who helped me at the end of my mother's life, between 2007 and 2012, died this past Sunday. She was only a few days difference in age from me. It's so hard to believe. She did have serious health problems even then and missed time because of that but she was so loving and patient with mom. I was glad to have her. She will be missed now by so many people.

My day:
This morning Dave and I watched the documentary Blackfish - about Killer whales at SeaWorld and places like that - how awful the lives of the whales are and how some whales have killed their trainers out of frustration and because their entire lives have been perverted and ruined. I would never go to a place like that or support it. Lunch with Nancy [livejournal.com profile] kyana. We ate eggplant parmesan at Benjamin's. Then I went to the post office and got new stamps:

forever-stamps-4-7-16
Colorful spring forever flowers and Andy.

Raining. Came home and took my usual nap. Before dinner I spent an hour in the basement. My plan to abandon going through stuff (and just dump it in protective tubs) isn't going to work. I still need to pick up the stuff before I put it into the tubs so I may as well sort it into appropriate places. I started a tub for things I imagine no one will ever look at again, at least not in my lifetime. Things I can't let go of but no one will ever need. I put some of my own art in there - stuff I don't need to see again. At one time I made a lot of little collage books, polymer clay dolls and pins. I put them all in there along with memory stuff from mom, dad and John. Dinner was a bean burrito with chips and dip. After dinner we took Andy for a walk to the creek and lake, more practice with whistle training. Still raining. Read some more in a book about dreams analysis, "Dreams - Doorway to Emotional Health" by a reverend who is also a counselor, Lloyd E. Shaw - actually quite insightful. Watching the movie Pitch Black at the moment.

i wish

Mar. 4th, 2016 05:34 pm
summersgate: (self portrait a day)
3-4-16-I-wish-I-had-white-hair
I wish I had white hair, among other things...

I wish...
I wish I knew how to train a dog without yelling,
without losing my temper.
I wish I knew how to be patient, like a buddha,
like a rock.
I wish I could stop causing problems.
I wish I could find the place where joy lived.
I wish I could find happiness.
I wish I could be the opposite of what I feel inside.

When you wish for something you are reaching for it. It hurts when you don't have it. Wishing is figuring out and declaring what you do want.

I have been losing patience with Andy. After a while it just started to seem that he was doing all this stuff (getting on the couch over and over again with forbidden sloppy chew toys, biting his leash when we try to take him for a walk, not coming when called, dragging our shoes around) cause he is a BAD DOG. And we needed to TRAIN it out of him. Zero tolerance. Which came to mean we were trying harder and harder to turn him into a perfect robot dog. Not going to happen. The more angry we got that he wasn't doing what we wanted the worse he was getting. Till we read something this morning and the light bulb came on - Labs are very social and playful and love to chew things. They love attention - even negative attention. And he was getting a lot of that. He was getting what he wanted from us, even if it was negative. But we were not getting what we wanted from him - which was a calm, lovable dog. This experience of having a very active puppy has been bringing out the worst side of my personality. I can be very controlling, angry, vindictive, impatient, depressed with anger that turns inward, hopeless, withdrawn. But for this situation I need to be the opposite. I need to find the joy, find the love for another inside me, need to be playful and forgiving. Andy truly has a good heart. He has never done anything cause he is a mean dog. He just wants to play practically all the time he is awake. As one relief I have decided that I will not hesitate to calmly and lovingly put him in his crate whenever I get tired of him. That will be better than getting angry at him. I deserve calm and he deserves kindness.

I knew having a puppy was going to be hard, just didn't know it would be this much of a test for me.

~
On another topic. We watched the movie "Room" last night - about a young woman who was held captive by a man in one room for 7 years - she had her 5 year old boy with her. It sounds like a horror story but it was very uplifting. You might cry but I don't mind that in a movie.
summersgate: (self portrait a day)
2-26-16-sebby's-birthday-today
Me, Dave and Sebby. We are watching Pieces of April - actually a pretty good movie.

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