Mar. 16th, 2017 03:10 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Nancy's father's desk.

Visited Nancy [ profile] kyana today at her house and loved seeing how she has fixed up her middle downstairs room as a studio and sitting room. A couple more views HERE. )

Just before I left for town I got the news that I need to have a breast biopsy - the mammogram on Tuesday showed some suspicious tissue. Now I am fighting the urge to get anxious about it. Thank goodness the biopsy will be next Wednesday so I don't have to be in suspense very long.


Feb. 23rd, 2017 08:19 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Dave and I walked down to the lake tonight with Rossy and the guys got the idea to build the three of us "rock seats". Dave and Rossy carried big flat rocks and piled them up. Here's Rossy trying one out. Now we can look forward to having chairs waiting for us tomorrow when we take Andy for his evening run. Andy loves to swim in the lake and fetch sticks.

I've thought about putting seats in different areas of the woods this summer. Having places to go - to be. Nancy was talking today about how such good ideas can come when sitting outside - just letting your mind wander in nature. I look forward to doing lots of that this summer.
summersgate: (eggshells)
I had lunch with Nancy [ profile] kyana today and showed her the Diversity art book and she really liked it - I was very glad. I had taken to calling it my "stupid" book - cause it didn't seem to pass my test of a really great piece of art (illustrating diversity) but she reassured me that it did say something worthwhile. Using the word "stupid" - reminds me that it is a little kid's equivalent of a swear word - a word of strong derision. One of my favorite words still cause I don't swear much - except to say God Almighty! now and then when I'm really exasperated.

The sun is back. It is still cold though.


Jan. 24th, 2017 09:43 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
My style.

Dave and I went to Meadville this morning so he could get his eye treatment (the doctor said he can see some improvement now) and then we ate lunch at Cracker Barrel. Who would have thought that Cracker Barrel carries my style? Came home, took a quick nap and then it was time to meet with Nancy, Deb and Jan for supper. Nice to catch up with Deb who I haven't seen for a while. Came home, took out the garbage and now Dave and I are watching (re-watching) Oh Brother Where Art Thou? Crochet time...
summersgate: (eggshells)
Lunch with Nancy [personal profile] kyana today - a long time since I have seen her. Holiday visits and medical stuff and her taking a trip to Washington got in the way.

I was voicing to Nancy not feeling worthy to write on LJ lately - not knowing what to write - who to write it for. But as usual I do came back to the truth for me - which is I write it for myself first of all. And I really do like being a part of this social network. I only skim the surface of facebook - kind of like it is my duty to look at it every once in a while so I can "like" things and be supportive - but my real home is here on LJ.

Trying to teach Andy to "roll over". It is tough on me cause he wants to get involved in holding on to me (biting me) while I turn him over. I do have confidence that he will get it eventually though. It was easier to teach Tenzing that trick cause he was smaller and easier to roll over - Andy is big and lanky.

The creeks and river are very high. So much rain right now.

Hazel went to a club for her very first time tonight with a girlfriend and her mother. It is a LGBT friendly club and sounds like fun. It's called the Cruze Bar in Pittsburgh and they have college night on Thursday nights for kids under 21 who can't drink. My main concern of course is that she is safe. I'm glad the mother of the friend is going too.

I made lentil soup tonight and the vegan folks from next door have just arrived to eat some...
summersgate: (winter)
"Growing in the Earth" pendant - sterling, ceramic and peridot. Listing HERE

What started out as a day with plans to drive the grandkids multiple places has dwindled down to absolutely nothing at all. The grandkids all have snow days from school and I canceled lunch with my friend [personal profile] kyana cause for a while this morning it looked like a blizzard out there. Not anymore though - the sun is shining! But it is still very cold. The school has cancelled the holiday concert that Sebastian was going to play in tonight too.


Dec. 8th, 2016 10:22 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
Inspired by the Seven of Cups in the Thoth tarot. That card has the word "debauch" on it and is very busy with 7 flowers dripping into seven cups and they are all overflowing into a pool of water all broken up with drops falling into it. My interpretation of my feelings today is not that.

Yesterday morning I found out that I had a message on my phone from the day before. My cousin Helen's son had called to tell me that Helen wasn't doing well and she was nearing the end. I went to the nursing home to see her and found that she was as he said - unresponsive. Though I thought I did see some glimmerings of responsive when I told her I was there. It looked like her lips were dry and I got a little sponge on a stick and gave her some water with it - she sucked the water and licked her lips - so I know a bit of her consciousness was working. Her eyes never opened though. I was alone the whole time and at one point I thought I would look into her journal that was on the bedside stand. Back when she was still living in her own home she had showed me her journal so I thought she wouldn't mind. It was mainly all gibberish - made no sense. Though she had told me back then that she used code to write about certain people so they wouldn't be able to read what she was writing about them. So I don't know if this was her code or if she really was losing the ability to put thoughts together in these last months. The word "no" was used a lot. But one sentence at the top of a page separated from the gibberish words was very plain: SO - I AM STILL ON THIS EARTH!

Helen didn't like her roommate much - I already knew that. I could hear the roommate out in the hall begging someone to help me, help me, help me in a horrible whiny voice. I went out to check and she wanted someone to push her into the room. I said, okay, I can help you. Right then Helen let out a big yell and started to scream so I said to the roommate - sorry - I need to help Helen now and left her. As soon as Helen heard I was not going to bring the roommate in she calmed down. So I do think she has some consciousness - just not the ability to do very much with it - she is getting farther away now. But she knew she didn't want her serenity ruined by this whiny, constantly complaining self-centered woman. That is one thing about dying in a nursing home rather than your own home. Not nice.


I had a dream last night that I had fixed up my goat shed anew with couches, chairs, tables and beds - shelves on the walls to put art and trinkets and I built a big fireplace in the far wall. It was much bigger than before. I had invited people over for a get-together and it was really nice. But then, I found out that the goats were still alive and needed a home. I had no choice but try and make them welcome there. They were pooping all over and getting into things. I was cleaning out an old bucket that I had planted flowers in to make a water bucket for them. The goats weren't in very good shape and Gretta Goat had a sore on her head - I was wondering what kind of salve I had to put on it. I was up in the house when someone yelled, "There's a fire in the goatshed!" so I ran down to see. There really wasn't any danger - it was just a fire in the fireplace. But it was very hot in there and candles and things like that were melting. I stayed with it to make sure everything was okay till the fire died down. End of dream.

I have no idea where that dream came from or what it means.


Dec. 4th, 2016 06:46 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
Inspired by the Five of Stones from the Wildwood tarot. I guess it means that I have to wait out the long night - take some comfort in the spot of warmth in front of me.

Woke up at 4 am (again). Start the coffee pot, feed the cats their wet food, get my coffee and come to my room to sit at my table burning birthday candles and thinking/writing/drawing.

Dreamed last night that I was going out to dinner with Nancy (it was nighttime in the dream) and she was trying out a new wheelchair - it was electric. The sidewalks were icy and it started sliding - I was trying to hang onto it and put my feet on the back of it but my weight was making it go even more out of control. We were laughing but there was a danger of it going farther down a hill and into the woods. I got off and the slide stopped. She was driving back up the hill again but then she dropped the controller (it was like a TV controller). It flew up into the air and came back to her but she wasn't ready to catch it and it fell again. Then it flew up again, like a little fluttering bird. That was how it was designed - that if the person in the wheelchair was to drop it then it would find its way back to them. It kept fluttering back to her and bouncing off cause she wasn't ready to catch it. We laughed and laughed till finally she caught it - end of dream.

Dave went to bed early last night and I watched a couple episodes of Lost. I love that show. It seems so deep and many layered to me. I'm wondering if watching TV before bed (that show in particular) has anything to do with the wheelchair controller in the dream being like a TV remote control?

Dave shot a buck yesterday. There will be meat for him in the freezer this coming year. Maybe I will see a little more of him now.

I got the new torch yesterday and hooked it up to my old tank of mapp gas and it didn't work either. So I tried the new torch on a new tank and it worked. Then I tried my old torch on a new tank of gas and it worked too. So something was wrong with the tank - not the torch. The old tank is full of gas - you can feel it sloshing around in there so that isn't the problem - it must have an obstruction of some sort. That was stupid of me that I didn't try that first before I gave up and thought I needed a new torch. Well, anyway - maybe I will like this new torch too - it has an automatic lighter built into it.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Inspired by the Six of Wands from the Transformational Tarot deck. The original card had a sexy female figure (Lady Godiva) riding a horse - mine looks more like a child on a pony (or maybe even a dog - the neck is too short for a horse - me riding Andy right now?). They say everything we write about and all our art is really about us so that would make sense - I am more of a child inside than a sexy woman. The six of wands is usually a card of victory, recognition and reward. I am a child in that way too - it's hard to accept compliments. Maybe today will be a day to be more humble - which actually would mean I would be more ready to accept recognition. Being excessively shy is not really being humble. The figure in the drawing is naked. Can't be shy if you are naked.

I have over 40 tarot decks - I must be a collector. This drawing exercise I have been doing lately is an attempt to actually get some use from all those decks. I open a different deck each day (I keep most of them in bags so I can't tell which is which - it's a surprise each day) and choose a card randomly for drawing inspiration. I am hoping to work my way though the whole pile of them before I run out of steam. I like some decks better than others. This deck, The Transformational Tarot I like. I remember I used to look at it a lot back in the days of taking care of my mom. It is water stained and a little battered - I kept it in the master bathroom.

Today I am excited to be enameling again. Since my soldering torch is broken it gives me an opportunity to do something else. I was with Nancy yesterday and we talked about rainbows and what a wonderful symbol they are. I have 6 little rainbows started - I can imagine them paired with ceramic faces in pendants.

2:47 am

Nov. 18th, 2016 03:13 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
Had a big day with lots of driving today. Drove Hazel to her school in the early morning fog. The fog lasted a really long time this morning (no, now I should say it was yesterday morning). Drove to Steubenville with Nancy to see Kenyon - still mysterious fog everywhere. But it was bright enough that I could see well to drive. I loved it. Good to see Kenyon and see he is in a nice place. Up on the 5th floor of a high rise with a balcony. It was on the south side of the building. I was very much in admiration of the place. Looking down on the world like a bird. And there were numerous little birds that came to visit and look in through the sliding glass door even though he puts no bird food out.

Came home, ate dinner and read a little while. Went to bed early. So of course I woke up at midnight and have been up since. Sitting at the dining room table. A quiet house. My feet up on a chair and knitting. I was struck so much by how I haven't changed. Life hasn't really changed in the inner ways. When Jules was small (40 years ago) many nights I came out to the living room and sat alone. Knitting, or maybe it was crochet. A cat to keep me company. Tonight it is Skye. Then it was... can't remember! How could I forget his name? It was such a simple name. Was his name really just Kitty? Alone with thoughts and memories. Listening to music quietly. Then the music was on a tape player, now on a iPad. But it's still the same, I'm still the same. It's kind of amazing to me that the core of me endures. And I thought, I'm glad I have me for company tonight. We get along well - we're compatible.
summersgate: (eggshells)
A picture that Nancy took of me with the mosaic last Thursday.

I put the last coat of sealer on just now. I will be calling the customer soon and then goodbye to this thing I have had on my mind for over 11 months. Closeup pictures HERE )

I will probably only take one more photo of it in the future. When I deliver it I hope to show it in it's final resting place behind her stove.


Oct. 26th, 2016 10:48 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
This is what happens when I leave an area alone for a few months - it becomes Skye's territory. One of these days I would like to start enameling again and I will need to do a thorough clean up anyway so I'm not worried.

I got my new glasses yesterday. Not sure I like them though. I think I need a stronger bifocal - darn. I guess I am going to need to go back and see if they will remake them.

Dave has been taking Andy hunting most every day. Things are going well (even though he hasn't gotten any more birds). I'm so glad Dave is now able to get Andy out and do things in the woods with him.

"Storm Window" earrings - all sterling. Listing HERE

Sunshine today. Cold - we had a freeze last night. Going to go out to lunch with Nancy today - a good day to get out.

Thoughts early this morning...
Is it my age? Or what? But when I wake up the first thing going through my mind most days is dread and doom. Not even sure where it comes from but there is an undercurrent that is always there waiting. Before the daytime thoughts rush in to fill the spot there is a dark river of gloom flowing. Thank goodness for the light of day. I want to DO something creative - I feel like that might *fix* me. Something needs expressing.


Oct. 18th, 2016 09:03 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
Something I am doing without presently (besides a pair of glasses that stay on my face) is my laptop. The battery is no good and won't let me turn the laptop on anymore. It gave me plenty of warnings about needing a new battery so I wasn't surprised when it finally gave out for good. The new battery should arrive tomorrow. In the meantime I am using Dave's desktop. Trying to fit in time here when he's not around.

Also my car quit working. Nancy and I were going to lunch on Thursday when it stranded us on the lane to Dawndi's Restaurant. Luckily it happened on a driveway and we didn't have highway traffic to deal with. I called Dave and he checked it over and thought it needed to be taken to the garage. So no car for a while. I drove Jules to work this morning using Dave's truck. Usually when I drive the truck (cause I am short) I have to move the seat up so far that the man-sized people I am driving have their knees pressed up on the dashboard but this morning I thought to take a pillow along for my back. Problem solved.

A cat (probably Milo) has been peeing in our bedroom! Because the cats are afraid to go past Andy in the living room they shut themselves up in our bedroom and my studio room at the end of the hallway. Usually they are willing to wait till Andy goes outside or is in his crate so they can make a run for the basement to their litter boxes but I guess someone is deciding that they can't wait that long. I'm going in town later today and get a covered litter box for the bathroom. I really did not want to do that - I don't like the idea of having a smelly litter box upstairs but I don't know what else to do - they are peeing upstairs anyway.

I re-glued the mosaic pieces that had fallen out and grouted them in last night. I decided to go ahead and paint the grout with metallic paints. Even though I did like the look of the black grout it got lighter and duller as it dried. Painting it will be my main job for today.

Last night Dave and I watched a documentary about Joni Mitchell ("Joni Mitchell: Woman of Heart and Mind"). Made us want to hear more of her albums. I already have "Blue" and "Court and Spark" but I found 5 more CDs that I want to get. I used to have them back in the day but those LPs are long gone. Both Dave and I love Joni. It is so nice to find music that we both like to listen to.

Yesterday as Candy and I were leaving for our bike ride a flock of starlings was flying over - thousands I would say - they just kept coming over the horizon and going over the far hill after going over our head. It was so neat. And then last night at dusk we could hear some kind of twittering bird in the spruce trees behind the house - sounded like thousands of them again. More signs that autumn is here!


Sep. 22nd, 2016 10:56 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)

Nancy and I walked the bike trail from Van towards Cranberry this morning. We got to a bench a mile out and sat awhile. On the way back we came across this spinning leaf caught on a spiderweb. Not that exciting but mesmerizing to me. I like it when I can slow down and notice things like this; how the spiderwebs in the trees shimmer in the breeze, the sounds of birds, voices of other people far down the trail, water in the creek, smell whiffs of burnt wood from chainsaws - you can even hear the sound of falling leaves hitting the ground.

Watched the documentary "Requiem for the American Dream" tonight - I wish everyone could see it. Here's a synopsis from Netflix: In this timely documentary, Noam Chomsky, one of America's most respected and influential social theorists, offers sobering insights on the nation's extreme economic inequalities and the true cost of projecting U.S. power worldwide.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Fishing pier.

Nancy and I had dinner at the Sugar Lake Hotel (I had a fish sandwich and their beer battered fries) and then went out to the refuge afterwards. Some photos... )


Sep. 1st, 2016 08:52 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
Spruce tree. I didn't notice till I got downstairs this morning that I still had the soft focus lensbaby lens on the camera. Not the best lens to show things accurately but you can get the idea.

Goldenrod flowers. Asters above.

Yesterday I made a whole new spruce tree - third time's the charm I hope. And while watching tv last night I made the goldenrod and aster flowers. Didn't get outside at all except to take Hazel to a job interview at Eat-n-Park - raining most of the day. But today the sun is shining and there's a blue sky. This evening Nancy and I are planning to eat at the Sugar Lake Hotel and then check out the Erie Wildlife Refuge. I can't wait to show her some of the things that I have come to love about that place.

If the grandsons weren't in school today I would be asking if they wanted to go on a bike ride this morning. Maybe Dave would be interested. I think the first couple days he had the shingles he felt pretty bad but he's feeling better now. Maybe he didn't have as bad a case as some people get.


Apr. 15th, 2016 08:37 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
Yesterday was my usual day to have lunch with Nancy [ profile] kyana. We went to Oil City and ate at The Villa Italia. An old place - popular when I was a kid. Oil City seems to have lots of these old places still in business. The Villa was originally built as a sort of A frame but with windows all along the bottom sides. It has a very high ceiling and one big main room. I think of it as a ski chalet in design - though the roof is steeper. The decor is yellow formica tables and bench seats, hanging plants and statues - some of Mother Mary and the Pope, a big one of an rotund Italian pizza maker with a big mustache. Back in the day I always used to get one of their subs. They are known for them - they use their own bread and they were the most delicious subs anywhere. I used to baby sit when I was 16 for my sister Kathy and her husband Pete - they lived in an old apartment across the street and part of my pay was that they would buy me a sub before they left for the evening. Yesterday I got a French bread pizza. Pretty perfect in size for a meal and very good. After eating we went over to the bike trail. Even though Nancy can't walk long distances I love having her for a walking buddy. I push her wheelchair - which is super easy on the paved trail. We went 3.6 miles in all yesterday. We saw a porcupine waddling down the trail in front of us - going in the same direction we were going. A man walking ahead of us came up behind it first and as he passed it detoured down in the direction of the river. It had it's quills raised up on it's back. When we got there it was still close enough to see it pretty well - about 12 feet away and it didn't seem very afraid - it's quills were down then.

After coming home it was "nappy poo" time (of course) and I slept till about 5. Dave woke me up to a meal he made of fried fish. He has started frying fish in a new way - coats the fish with egg, rolls it in a mixture of panko crumbs and flour then fries it in peanut oil. I think he is onto something very good. Actually I think that is the way Alison made the fried zucchini the other night too.

After dinner I wanted to take Andy out for a walk in the back yard and put on his halter. I thought that would help control him better since in some of the advertisements it is called a no-pull halter. He went crazy trying to bite it and I had to turn back and take it off. We went out again but this time with lots of treats and just the ordinary collar. It all went surprising well that time. Whenever he started to pull I had him come back to me and sit and get a treat and then we would start out again. After a while he got the idea that pulling would not get us any farther along the walk. On the way back we even did some heeling. He has done that enough with Dave that it was working with me too. So progress...

Today is a free day - no real plans. I think I will work at training Andy to heel in the back yard again and do some jewelry work. It is a beautiful day - I will probably do some yard and back porch work too.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Woke up, made coffee and thought about my dream. More... )


Mar. 18th, 2016 06:09 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Last month I found a freshly dead dove on the ground down by the creek. Wasn't sure what to do with it but I didn't want Andy to get into it so I hung its body in the crook of a little tree. I see that something has finally found it, taken it to the ground and torn it apart. There is absolutely nothing there now except feathers.

Dave had a scary thing happen a few days ago while walking Andy down by the creek. Andy took off after a pretty big animal - Dave couldn't see at first what it was through the brush. The animal climbed a tree a ways then it came back down and went after Andy. Andy came running back to Dave at full speed with the animal chasing him. It was a big boar raccoon and it got to about 10 feet away from Dave before it decided it didn't want to mess with both a dog and a man and it went away. I don't like raccoons. I'm looking out for it when I walk alone with Andy. But I always keep Andy on the leash when I walk him. I just don't want to risk anything. Dave feels more capable with Andy than I do and lets him run when he is down in the woods.

The sky when we took Andy for a walk to the lake last night. Pretty colors in the clouds.

My day today. Got the blood work done and Dave and I had breakfast (mine was a tomato and spinach omelet) at Eat-n-Park, then shopping at Walmart. We got Andy a harness (rather than using just his collar during walks and it might work for taking him in the boat too). So far it is working well - keeps the leash up and from going under his legs all the time. I took him for 2 walks today with it and it seemed he pulled even less than usual. Pulling hasn't been that much of a problem with him anyway. It looks very similar to this one.

Yesterday talking to Nancy we both mentioned a renewed interest in Tarot. I have fallen away from the 2016 365 writing prompts and spad and might take up tarot as a writing subject again for a while. I have so many decks. Will see if I have time - lately I just haven't felt like I do.

Now it's time to get some work done. A ring that I made for Gabe last year broke - he wore it 24/7 and I want to make him a new one to replace it. He designed the new one and it will be much more elaborate. And I have a ring to make for a customer too.
summersgate: (eggshells)
can't be sure of anything
don't bet your life on it
anything can happen
anything can be true
anything can be false

Every once in a while someone celebrates their anniversary of being on LJ and it's interesting to hear how long some people have been writing here. I just looked it up and I started December 21 of 2005 (10 years now!). Before that I wrote in an old online journal called Dancing with Ghosts which I started in Jan of 2001 - it was affiliated with my original Wood Thrush Studio website and it totally disappeared along with that website. Before it got deleted though I copied and pasted it all onto a word document and printed it out to be put into 3 ring binders so I still have it. I switched over to writing nearly exclusively to LJ in 2006 cause it was so much easier to post here - and easy to add photos. I started to post more photos than writing. [ profile] kyana was the one who got me started here and sent me the passcode that you used to need in order to get an account. Rural Rob was one of the first people I started following.

Sometimes I struggle with how much and what to put here - how honest to be, how revealing to be, what to show. I can't be sure if what I am doing is right, correct, kind enough, happy enough, self assured enough, or veiled enough. This was the very first thing I put online back in the days of Dancing with Ghosts:


I still can't be sure about myself.


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