thursday

Apr. 13th, 2017 07:48 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
4-13-17-tree-life
I see a tree that has been damaged, splitting, cracking apart but still alive and bursting with life. Spring is happening.

I had a headache most of yesterday and felt fuzzy. My tinnitus was extra loud. But in it's own way it was a good day with lots of talking to friends, lots of crying, which was just what I needed. Getting used to life as it is. Hazel drove me to the store for some shopping and carried the groceries in for me. I made progress on the crocheted baby blanket. Watched episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - good silliness. Dave swept off the front porch and back porch and made them nice. He mowed the back yard for the first time this year too. I ate my supper out back at the picnic table. We (Dave and I, Hazel and Rossy) walked Andy down to the creek and threw his ball with the ball thrower in the lower yard. Hazel has got a great throwing arm - I think cause she is so tall - and Andy got a really good work out. He loves to chase the ball.

Tomorrow Johnny and Alison and Chloe and Mike are coming for a visit. Chloe wants me to show her some new hiking trails where she can take her ARC clients. I think we will show her the trail to Rainbow Rocks - it will be a relatively easy walk that her clients can handle. Mike and Dave are going fishing.

It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day today. I have a big pot with a passionflower vine in it. I might have killed it with neglect over the winter but I want to get it planted outside soon - there might still be hope for it. I won't be able to lift it myself but I bet I can get a grandkid to help me. I am not very good with most houseplants, except succulents. I think the passionflower will have better luck outside, even with our winters - they can withstand some freezing.

I have had a dreamwidth account since 2010 but I only use it to back up my LJ now and then and never post there. The last time I backed it up was in 2012 but I am backing it up today. I have a different name there: Summersgate. https://summersgate.dreamwidth.org/ I don't want to leave LJ and don't plan to leave but just in case something happens to LJ I will be covered. I will still be posting my entries on LJ.

friday

Jan. 23rd, 2015 07:57 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
1-23-15-queen-of-Pentacles
Tarot of Metamorphosis deck

I am the one...
...who is creepy! I am part robot and slinky human. My arms are long, I have long spiral antennas for ears. My right shoulder is encased in a cover with long spikes protruding. My limbs are bionic. I live in a world of dingy molded metal - I see there are some holes in the walls and there is old blood or rust leaking out of the holes.

I guess what this is showing me more than anything is the state of my body. I have been having the frozen shoulder symptoms in my right shoulder building up again - it even shows that on the card - spiky protrusions are growing out of her right shoulder. I don't take the time to do my stretching exercises like I should, though every time I think about it I do do them. It's probably just not enough or intense enough to really help - maybe it is just enough to slow it down. I need to devote 20 minutes 3 times a day to do them and really push myself. I also need to stretch and bend my broken finger more.

It's funny but this is the exact same card I got yesterday - the Queen of Pentacles - but she sure looks different today! Maybe the cards want to remind me to keep taking care of my riches, my possessions - sorting through stuff in the basement. I did make pretty good progress yesterday - I was getting into it. I'm going to get started this morning on it too. Dave and I went out last night and got more clear plastic containers that will stack. I got 12 but I have a feeling I could use 12 more! I want to store and organize everything that I can in them.

I bought the plane ticket yesterday to go to Florida the end of March to see my sister [livejournal.com profile] earthmother45 and her family. I can't wait to get there and give her a loving kiss on the cheek.
summersgate: (summer)
Had a busy day yesterday – was outside most of the day and it was wonderful! Nancy and I did another bike trail walk/roll in the morning – this time from the parking area near Fisherman’s Cove and then up river towards Belmar. I’d say we went 4 miles round trip. I wish summer could go on forever cause I know I will lose this over the winter. I feel like I am finally in my element with it being June – one of my favorite months (along with May).

After the grandboys got home from school we all (with Johnny) took the bikes over to Lake Wilhelm. We started at boat launch #4 and got about 1/4 of the way around the lake – ended up at the place Lake Road comes down to the edge of the lake and stopped there for snacks and to throw rocks in the water.

gabe
gabe

johnny
johnny sitting and throwing rocks in the lake

sebby-rossy-balancing
sebby and rossy balancing

It is interesting that the diana photo app has the same background image for all these photos - a view of the shoreline trees and the guardrail with someone climbing up on it on the right side. You can see it better in some photos than in others.

A foggy morning this morning - which usually means a sunny hot day is coming later. This is the boy's last day of school. They will be coming home early and then we have a celebratory fire and hot dog roast planned for the afternoon. In the evening they will be leaving to spend a week with their mother. It will be strange with no kids around for so long.

I have come to a conclusion with the shyness question. Now that "introversion" has started to be talked about more and become an accepted way of being I am glad. Being an introvert used to be frowned upon and it is now being championed - that is a step in the right direction. I am going to champion being shy too! There need to be watchers so the people out in front doing things will have someone to look at them. I don't need to be "looked at". I prefer not to be looked at - and that is OK. I need to get better at saying no to things I don't want to go to. I will weigh each invitation first but if it's something I really don't want to do I am going to go with my gut feeling and say no, without guilt. If I don't take care of me who else will?

later...

Mar. 18th, 2013 05:26 pm
summersgate: (eggshells)
Back out in the world again. Movie watched (a Swedish film called, "Songs From the Second Floor" - pretty good - strange - a sort-of satire/absurdist drama), feet all warmed up now and I am making vegetarian chili for dinner.

Soon we will be leaving to take our tax info to our tax lady.
summersgate: (eggshells)
Still snowing - and not warm wet snow either - it's cold and bone chilling with wind. I can't get warm. At the moment I am heating up the corn bag and going to go to bed with it. And so much for my tiredness being over - it's not. I was yawning all morning. I've been in bed for an hour and slept but still can't get warm. So I'm writing this now while the bag is heating in the microwave then I'm going to climb back in bed with it and a movie. If I want, I can go back to sleep or watch the movie - either way at least I hope to get warm. Maybe I'm coming down with something. Sebby didn't go to school today - was throwing up this morning - he's better now though.
summersgate: (Default)
I got the tooth out today (it started to abscess yesterday). I have never felt so drained before from an extraction. Afterward I decided to go shopping at dreaded wal-mart cause it was on the way home but 1/2 way through I wondered if I should abandon the project and just go. I did finish and drag myself to the car and then over to Wendy's for a frosty. The cold felt good on the extraction site. I felt strong enough then to drive home. Dave helped me bring groceries in and encouraged me to go to bed (wonderful man) - he would keep watching my mom for me (Jill didn't come today) - so I slept till 3 pm. I needed it - got up and got myself a drink and went back to the bedroom but didn't sleep this time. Listened to an creative visualization cd and wrote about it. Anyway - now I have a hole where there used to be a crumbly tooth. I was always ashamed to smile and show that tooth. I don't feel so ashamed of the empty gap now though (for some reason) and may start to smile fully again. I also set up to get a teeth cleaning and do something about another tooth that I have known needs work. But the good news is the dentist didn't think my teeth would need much at all. They look pretty good even after not being seen by a professional for about 10 years. I had to explain myself (I thought) about why I didn't have a regular dentist anymore. I said I have been cultivating a fantasy where I would be able to make it to the end of my life and never need to see another dentist again - I guess I was wrong. He laughed. Didn't try to make me feel guilty - he gets a plus for that.

me with gap tooth grin - HERE )
summersgate: (Default)
I got the tooth out today (it started to abscess yesterday). I have never felt so drained before from an extraction. Afterward I decided to go shopping at dreaded wal-mart cause it was on the way home but 1/2 way through I wondered if I should abandon the project and just go. I did finish and drag myself to the car and then over to Wendy's for a frosty. The cold felt good on the extraction site. I felt strong enough then to drive home. Dave helped me bring groceries in and encouraged me to go to bed (wonderful man) - he would keep watching my mom for me (Jill didn't come today) - so I slept till 3 pm. I needed it - got up and got myself a drink and went back to the bedroom but didn't sleep this time. Listened to an creative visualization cd and wrote about it. Anyway - now I have a hole where there used to be a crumbly tooth. I was always ashamed to smile and show that tooth. I don't feel so ashamed of the empty gap now though (for some reason) and may start to smile fully again. I also set up to get a teeth cleaning and do something about another tooth that I have known needs work. But the good news is the dentist didn't think my teeth would need much at all. They look pretty good even after not being seen by a professional for about 10 years. I had to explain myself (I thought) about why I didn't have a regular dentist anymore. I said I have been cultivating a fantasy where I would be able to make it to the end of my life and never need to see another dentist again - I guess I was wrong. He laughed. Didn't try to make me feel guilty - he gets a plus for that.

me with gap tooth grin - HERE )
summersgate: (Default)
My double page spread for today:


So tired today. I feel flatlined. I decided to not go to yoga tonight. It would have been the last class of the session but didn't want to drag myself out in the rain. I slept instead. My wrists hurt so much sometimes for some reason. Tonight especially.

Mom's sugar was totally normal for the first time this morning. The med is working. Jill had been having a difficult time getting mom to wake up at noon but not today - I hear they were singing and humming Christmas carols today.

~
The usual down feelings I get later in the winter, like in Jan, Feb, and March are already here. I don't know what to do. I must concentrate on taking care of myself somehow - find out what I need and do it.

For now though... I'm going to read at the kitchen table. Relax. I got the book that Berdella had about poetry called, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing Poetry" I really like it a lot - maybe there's a poem in me somewhere that this can help me to unearth. I'm also reading the book called, "Windows Vista - The Missing Manual" so I can learn about my new computer and Vista before it arrives next week. It seems there is a big difference between Vista and XP. I'm looking forward to soon not having to go into Johnny's room numerous times a day to upload and download printing and scanning jobs onto his computer.

Later...
summersgate: (Default)
My double page spread for today:


So tired today. I feel flatlined. I decided to not go to yoga tonight. It would have been the last class of the session but didn't want to drag myself out in the rain. I slept instead. My wrists hurt so much sometimes for some reason. Tonight especially.

Mom's sugar was totally normal for the first time this morning. The med is working. Jill had been having a difficult time getting mom to wake up at noon but not today - I hear they were singing and humming Christmas carols today.

~
The usual down feelings I get later in the winter, like in Jan, Feb, and March are already here. I don't know what to do. I must concentrate on taking care of myself somehow - find out what I need and do it.

For now though... I'm going to read at the kitchen table. Relax. I got the book that Berdella had about poetry called, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing Poetry" I really like it a lot - maybe there's a poem in me somewhere that this can help me to unearth. I'm also reading the book called, "Windows Vista - The Missing Manual" so I can learn about my new computer and Vista before it arrives next week. It seems there is a big difference between Vista and XP. I'm looking forward to soon not having to go into Johnny's room numerous times a day to upload and download printing and scanning jobs onto his computer.

Later...

quote

Oct. 16th, 2008 08:35 pm
summersgate: (Default)
"Creation depends as much on laziness as on hard work"
- Mary Sarton - The House by the Sea.

Oh the luxury of laziness! Jill was here today and I didn't get up at all (I turned the baby monitor off) till after she had got mom up by herself (usually I feel I should help her) - I laid and did yoga in bed - lazy yoga - big soft stretching with no pain - and then drifted off to sleep again, to dream.

But it is me who pushes me so hard. It is all an attitude - I realize that but keep forgetting it. Letting other people get into my head, their voices, what I imagine they are thinking. Instead of just taking care of myself.

quote

Oct. 16th, 2008 08:35 pm
summersgate: (Default)
"Creation depends as much on laziness as on hard work"
- Mary Sarton - The House by the Sea.

Oh the luxury of laziness! Jill was here today and I didn't get up at all (I turned the baby monitor off) till after she had got mom up by herself (usually I feel I should help her) - I laid and did yoga in bed - lazy yoga - big soft stretching with no pain - and then drifted off to sleep again, to dream.

But it is me who pushes me so hard. It is all an attitude - I realize that but keep forgetting it. Letting other people get into my head, their voices, what I imagine they are thinking. Instead of just taking care of myself.

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