summersgate: (eggshells)
1723-Winter-hanging-3x4
"Winter" pendant - sterling, enamel on fine silver and faceted white CZ. Listing HERE

Still snowing. I haven't been outside yet. Dave did the outside chores (filled the bird feeders, brought in the garbage cans and got the mail) before he took off with Andy so I didn't need to. Busying myself with baking and jewelry.
summersgate: (eggshells)
skye-and-the-red-book-3-14-
Studying the Red Book.

When I made the Diversity Book recently I needed a holder for it to be displayed properly at the art gallery and Dave made me a really nice stand that could hold a book at an upright angle. Now that the show is over I have the book stand at home and thought right away, it would be great to put Jung's Red Book on it. I got the book back in 2009 for Christmas but only skimmed it. It was too big to hold or see it on my lap or flat on a table. Now that I have a new interest in examining my emotions and thoughts the Red Book might be really great for inspiration. I set it up and opened it this morning and was going to take a photo of it on the stand when I saw Skye stalking up to it. She acts like it is something really strange and fascinating. Maybe it is this page with the crosses in the "eyes" in particular? After I took this photo she settled down on her haunches and studied it for a very long time.

I took one photo yesterday when Candy and I hiked around Two Mile Run:

3-13-17-two-mile-run-stream
Some weak morning sun.

It was cold but didn't seem that bad - we were both bundled up in layers. I wore a double set of gloves. But after we got moving and hiking up hills we got warmed up and even had to take off our hats for a while. I went down to one pair of gloves eventually.

I guess today the big snow storm (Stella!) is supposed to come. I have an appointment at the hospital to have a mammogram at 2. Dave will be driving me in the truck though and it has four wheel drive so I'm not concerned. Maybe it won't be bad yet at only 2 or 3.
summersgate: (eggshells)
I was looking at my 5 year diary and 2 years ago yesterday it was 20 below zero (F) and the kids did not have school. Last year it was a day of heavy snow fall and they did not have school again. Today though the temps are going up and I imagine all our snow will be gone soon - not that we had that much - only a couple inches. Over the weekend it will be in the mid 50's. The sun is breaking through the clouds at the moment. It is nice to see it again.

I finally finished putting the epoxy in the ring of my old classmate and will be giving it back to him today. It doesn't look that different but I think it will hold up better now with a filler between the cracks in the crumbling turquoise. My next job is to make a repeat of a pendant I made a few years ago. A customer liked it and wondered if I could make another. I told her I will make one and send her pictures of it - if she likes it then I will reserve it for her so she can buy it. I would rather do it that way - then I feel like I have more freedom. I don't like the feeling I have hanging over me when it's a commission with expectations that need fulfilled. I will need to make an enameled element for it and it is hard to make something with enamel exactly like I made it before just from memory. And while I am at the enameling table I want to make some more hearts to use in other things too. So I imagine that will be my day today...
summersgate: (eggshells)
Candy and I hiked up to the Big Rock at 2 Mile Run this morning. Just a dumb little thing I was thinking of - the song Big Rock Candy Mountain. I lost the map halfway to the rock - it must have fallen out of my pocket after we crossed the last bridge (I remember having it then) and either we could have turned back to find it or I could try and trust my memory of the map. I decided to trust my memory. We did go on a wrong trail for a ways but after a while I thought we should backtrack and try to find a different trail. Which was the correct one. Stuff like this always reminds me of a quote attributed to Danial Boone. "I can't say as ever I was lost, but I was bewildered once for a few days." I wish I could be that confident - I like a map and a marked trail. After our hike I wanted to go to the park office and see if they had any better maps of the trails. They had 3 - the regular map with everything but updated from the internet version and one with horse trails and one with bike trails. Maybe the new maps will help me in the future to figure out what is going on there. Some pictures HERE. )
summersgate: (I R = infrared)
P1030951-andy-is-happy-to-r
Andy is happy to run.

I slept and read the afternoon away today and was starting to feel better. Towards dusk Dave and Rossy wanted to take Andy for a walk down back so I got my boots on. Since it was so misty out there anyway I thought the infrared camera might make things look neat. Many photos HERE )
summersgate: (eggshells)
Because I am a mainly a morning writer I think I write about different things than a lot of the writing I see here on LJ. I don't have a day to recount - I have dreams and feelings that have come up during the night to deal with and put in their proper place. Many times I wake up weighed down with doom and helplessness. It is during my morning meditation time that I try to get back to or reach a place of hope and balance that I can carry with me through the day.

12-30-16-Two-of-Cups
The card is from the Paulina tarot deck. Perhaps I will see this as a reminder to concentrate on being a good partner today.

It snowed all day yesterday - off and on. I never did get out for a walk - I had an urge to go to Two Mile Run but that frittered away as the day went on. Rossy was over here and he and Johnny were playing video games together and I didn't want to break that up. Dave took Andy hunting. I wish I could drive my car in the snow but I don't feel safe with it anymore. A couple times so far this winter I have had it stuck in the driveway. Something happened to the transmission during the summer and it has no 4 wheel drive anymore. We have an appointment to have it looked at on Jan 10th. Dave says he will drive me in the truck if I want to go somewhere today. I would like to get some fat quarters and lots of cheap rice so I can make the microwave heating pads.

Last night Johnny and I made 2 versions of tacos - venison and veggie burger - and then invited Jules and his boys over. It was nice to have everyone here for that. Andy entertained us with his tricks.

The snow is picking up. Looking whiter and whiter out there as the morning goes on.
summersgate: (eggshells)
It only gets lighter from here, and ironically colder...

12-21-16-not-perfect
The Four of Cups. A reminder to pay attention to what is being offered to us - it is right in front of our eyes if we are willing to see it.

Dave went out to Two Mile Run Lake with Andy last night to check the ice and he thinks it will be okay to go ice fishing there today. Andy had fun running and sliding on the ice. Dave said Andy would run at him as fast as he could then stop and slide past him - over and over.

I was busy yesterday - didn't even have time to do my morning meditations or make a drawing. Driving Jules to work in the morning, going with Dave to get Johnny, breakfast with Alison and her mom, shopping, picking up Jules from work, shopping again and then we all went to Sebby's Christmas concert, putting together cards for the mailman, newspaper lady and garbage man, gathering the garbage and taking it out. Now today seems to be a day with nothing planned. Will have to see what transpires. I could set up a little Christmas tree on a table in the living room. And/or I could clean up an area in the basement to make it easier for Johnny to work and fix some chairs he brought home. I'm not going to worry about jewelry for a while.

sunday

Dec. 18th, 2016 11:55 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
12-18-16-The-Star-#17-Silence-Osho-Zen-Tarot
Silence (Osho Zen Tarot) - #17 usually stands for The Star, a card that holds out the promise that we can eventually find peace of mind. My little drawing is referring to my hope that the dog and the cats can come to a place of peace someday. As I have said before Andy is not mean at all but the cats are afraid of him and he doesn't know how to just ignore them so they can relax. It was kind of cute this morning - Milo was on the bed in my room and Andy put his nose right up in his face. Milo laid his arm over Andy's nose and was pushing him away. But of course that wasn't enough to tell Andy to back off and finally Milo brought out his claws. Whimper, whine, whine from Andy as he went dejectedly away. Andy is getting better about being in the cat's world (my room) but the cats are not getting better about venturing into Andy's world (the living room).

The card might shed light on another problem I have that I am disturbed by. As usual the messages I get from my inner, higher self are to try again, forgive, be calm. But the messages I get from the outer world and my ego are confront, reject, be angry. So this card is another source of good advice - reach for the Silence (within). I was up for many hours last night (thinking resentful thoughts). I crocheted a whole washcloth while drinking a cup of sleepytime tea. Finally felt like getting back to bed around 4. As I have always said, and this is something I have always known - COMMUNICATION is the answer to most every problem between people. Getting myself ready to communicate in a calm, honest and non-blaming way is my job right now.

Snowing lightly at the moment. I love being comfy in my room and being able to look out the big window at the bird feeders and weather. Though soon I need to get dressed and go out and fill those feeders.

Ha - they just called - and I calmly talked. Perhaps I got my point across - I hope so.

saturday

Dec. 17th, 2016 07:43 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
12-17-16-7-of-pentacles-tarot-of-metamorphosis
Seven of Pentacles from the Tarot of Metamorphosis and my drawing. I could hardly figure out what the card was showing except for the little spaceman in the lower left looking at the broken old machinery or whatever it is in the sand. My drawing is an attempt to draw a skeleton from memory. My memory isn't that good. I guess I will take the meaning from of all this that it is time to wake up and sing - since I felt inspired to put a bird there. Even things that are dead can be awakened. My morning meditations seemed to be saying it is time to let go of the past and let go of harsh judgments. I can, and do, let go and forgive myself and others in the distant past - it is the recent past that I have a problem with.

Yesterday was another day where what I thought would happen didn't. The weather and life just don't go according to my schedule I guess. It is good to stay open and be willing to go with the flow. Johnny decided not to come home till Tuesday but Dave and I did get out for a drive and I picked up some more cotton yarn in attractive colors. We also had lunch at Valley Dairy. They have good fried fish.

Yesterday they were predicting freezing rain for this morning. I imagined all traffic would be coming to a stop but they are traveling okay on the highway out front. Of course the salt truck just came by about an hour ago. It might be worse on the little roads.

friday

Dec. 16th, 2016 06:46 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
12-16-16-death-smith-waite
Death.

I woke up troubled this morning and was trying to figure out how to let go of some resentments and anger I was feeling. As I was pulling a card from the deck I was more curious than usual what kind of image I would get that would help. Kind of a shock to see this. But then it makes sense. The keywords for Death are traditionally supposed to be: endings, beginnings, change, transformation, transition. But of course to get there (to transformation) one has to let go (die). The ego (in me) has to die so I can finally let go of this resentment and attitude of blame. Treasures form underground from the rubble of past things and new growth comes up from there. I can hope anyway.

Death has another meaning for me today. Kathy told me about how one of her friends was killed yesterday in a freak accident. One minute everything is fine and the next moment her life is gone. Really makes one wonder about life. We have no control! We think we do but we don't.

Very cold this morning. 5F. I suppose I should put that in perspective as later this winter I'm sure it will get even colder - getting down to 10 or 20 below - it always does at some point.

We will be bringing Johnny home for holiday break today. Yay - it will be good to have him here for a while. Though we need to accept that all our monthly internet allowance to be gone as soon as he gets here. His computer seems to suck it all away almost immediately. It's at 68% right now - will see what it is tomorrow at this time. I hope I am wrong.
summersgate: (winter)
1711GrowingInTheEarth-hand4x3
"Growing in the Earth" pendant - sterling, ceramic and peridot. Listing HERE

What started out as a day with plans to drive the grandkids multiple places has dwindled down to absolutely nothing at all. The grandkids all have snow days from school and I canceled lunch with my friend [personal profile] kyana cause for a while this morning it looked like a blizzard out there. Not anymore though - the sun is shining! But it is still very cold. The school has cancelled the holiday concert that Sebastian was going to play in tonight too.
summersgate: (eggshells)
1709-BleedingHeart-hand-4x3
"Bleeding Heart" pendant - sterling, ceramic heart and prehnite stone. Listing HERE

More snow! Dave just called to tell me he will be late - traffic is stopped on the hill he is on and many people are giving up, turning around and going back. Winter has descended upon us. Tomorrow we are supposed to have a low of 8F.
summersgate: (eggshells)
11-28-16-Two-of-Cups
Two of Cups - drawing inspired by the Vision Quest Tarot deck. The little white book says this card means the harmonic convergence of male and female energies. Not sure how to relate to that today as this is the first day of buck season which means I won't see much of Dave for a while - he loves to hunt and will be gone most of the time till he gets one.

Candy and I took a bike ride on the trail that goes down the Allegheny from Belmar to Fisherman's Cove this morning. It was a little cold for a bike ride (below freezing) but it wasn't a good day to walk in the woods either cause the woods are crawling with hunters. Even staying on the bike path we saw 2 scared does running and 3 hunters. The weather called for overcast skies and no sun but I thought we might take that path anyway because if the sun did chance to shine we could get some of its light being on the north side of the river. And the sun did start to break through after we got going a few minutes. It was quite lovely. And warming. As we were nearing the car again clouds gathered and it turned dark. I said - thanks for the gift. Two photos. )

wishing

Nov. 23rd, 2016 07:14 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
candle-graveyard-11-23-16
Birthday candle graveyard - where wishes go to die. All that is left behind after living a long (for them) life and dying a natural death is their little curling skeletons.

Woke up this morning at 5 am and looked out the bedroom window to see Orion in the west. That is always comforting to me for some reason. A good thing about winter.

wishing-upon-a-star-11-23-16
Wishing upon a star.

My tarot card this morning is from the Inner Child deck. It uses fairy tale characters and this one had a little child throwing a coin in a wishing well. But I found I couldn't seem to draw a child so she become a cat person instead. I have to accept that sometimes what I set out to draw isn't what I end up drawing. I'm not a good enough illustrator that I can CONTROL it. So I have to go where it wants to go and play along. Which is okay with me but leads to much doubt - wondering if it will even go anywhere finally, and thinking if it doesn't, wouldn't it just be better to give up before I start? That is what goes through my mind many times. But this is supposed to be for the "practice" of it, not necessarily for the end result. And it if doesn't turn out - so what? Someone once said you have to be willing to be a bad artist in order to be a good artist.

friday

Nov. 11th, 2016 07:33 am
summersgate: (eggshells)
I went to bed really early last night - around 8 - and then read for a while (maybe till 9) before falling asleep. Woke up this morning at 4:30 - that sounds very early but I actually got 7 1/2 hours sleep so that is good. Gave me a lot of time to do my meditations this morning and even pull a tarot card and make a little drawing/painting of it.

11-11-16-four-of-spirals-chrysalis-deck-art-a-day
Four of Spirals from the Chrysalis deck - or 4 of wands in a regular deck. The traditional look of this card has four posts (wands) with garlands of flowers in front of a castle and a joyous couple celebrating. The Chrysalis deck is much more subdued. This might suit my mood today better - a good day to be hidden in the woods and thinking of new growth and ways to be creative rather than celebrating. I don't think there is much to "celebrate" right now. Maybe it is a good time to return to a smaller world (where I can actually be effective) and not think about the big political picture.

I have a plan to make knitted cotton dishcloths in the evenings while I sit and watch TV with Dave. Usually as winter comes on and we spend more time in the evenings indoors I get out the cards and play solitary to pass the time but I thought knitting might be better. I can give them for Christmas presents too. I knitted and crocheted many years ago but have forgotten how to do it - need a fresher course. So I have a date to go in town and relearn from my friend Shirley this morning. It will be good to hang out with someone of like mind.

~
Dave just told me Leonard Cohen died. Sad to hear him gone. He has been one of my guiding stars since I was a teenager.
summersgate: (eggshells)
I was getting myself convinced that I had nothing to say here. Why share my thoughts? Why update to others on my life? I have my paper journal if I need to check dates on things later. I don't have to take a photo of myself every day. I don't have to write on a prompt everyday. I don't need to say or show anything to anyone. I was starting to wonder how long being silent would go. Evidently not very long. 2 days. Reading some of my favorite LJ people this morning makes me feel like participating again.

Participating. Creating. Sharing. Doing. Being challenged. Lately thinking about how good it would feel to give all that up. It has been building up in me to withdraw. Traditionally March is my worst (most negative) month of the year.

I had my tooth pulled on Tuesday. The experience wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I didn't fear the actual tooth pulling that much - what I feared was that I was going to have to go toothless (be an old poor hillbilly) for a month while waiting for the bridge to be made. But the dentist made me a quick plastic temporary bridge and it looks good. Looks better than the old crown that was covering the bad tooth before. The old crown was too white and stood out. Now that area of my mouth looks "normal" and everything matches. I'm pleased.

3-2-16-snowy-trail.bnw

Yesterday Jan and I walked 4+ miles at Wilhelm. That was good. Very cold and windy, snowflakes coming in little flurries. The wind pushing us from behind on our way out and in our face coming back. But both of us agreeing it wasn't that bad - it was perfectly good - really, it was pretty great. Crows and seagulls dipping and gliding in the wind. Canada geese gathering in the corn fields. A flock of robins.
summersgate: (self portrait a day)
2-27-16-my-right-foot-and-andy
Does having a chocolate lab make you want to eat chocolate more often?

I don't feel like this is cheating on my self-portrait-a-day. As long as the photo has any part of my body in it - or if it is my shadow, it will count. I can even do a drawing of myself and that will count as a spad too. But I have fallen down in doing much drawing lately.

Thin, tiny snowflakes falling today - very slowly. Dark and overcast sky. Gray February is winding down. There are lots of birds busy in the feeders though. We usually have a woodpecker at the suet feeder, which is only about 2 feet from my window. There is a downy woodpecker there right now.
summersgate: (self portrait a day)
2-13-16-snowy-family
Gabe used his phone to take this photo. Down by the lake. I didn't carry my camera cause it has been acting so funny lately so I missed lots of nice snowy photos. Very cold. No glasses - when I wear a scarf over my mouth then it fogs my glasses. And I thought my down coat might be warmer. Deb made me that hat long ago - I like that it has tassel "ears".
summersgate: (self portrait a day)
2-12-16-Gabe-returning
Gabe returning to the car after presenting his senior project at the school.

2-12-16-hands
After leaving the school Gabe had a day off so to celebrate passing his senior project we went out to eat at Amazing Foods. Gabe had Eggs Benedict for the first time and I had a blueberry scone. I wanted Gabe to take a photo of my hands - they are finally cracking from the dryness of winter. I had to put antibiotic salve on them and band-aids last night in an attempt to get them healed so I can do work with them again. It was getting too painful.

At the table behind us was sitting the doctor who delivered Jules way back when (42 years ago). He once was a hearty and handsome man. He's a thin white haired old man now and barely recognizable as the man he once was. We're all getting old. The changes that are drastic to see when you watch a baby grow up into a young adult are rivaled by the dramatic changes we see in people after the age of 60. I have to keep remembering that - it is a normal thing to have big changes. I am starting to notice big changes in myself.
summersgate: (self portrait a day)
My spad for today. When I saw those words on my new pocket journals I thought this explains it very well:

1-19-16-writing-to-remember
"I'm not writing it down to remember it later, I'm writing it down to remember it now."

Writing this journal and doing these self portraits helps me to remember each day and what I think about each day. LJ isn't my entirety but it does record a small part of me and what I see and do - what I'm interested in. I included the background of the enameling table in the photo to help me remember later that that is what I am doing right now. Making new enameled bird shapes and other things.

I got a GPS watch today. It's pretty cool (I think). It tells me how many steps I take in a day and it has given me a goal of 7,500 steps. I have walked 871 steps just since I put it on at 1:30 pm so I think I'm doing okay. It also says I have burned 969 calories, and walked .38 miles. I had to walk next door a few times and it measures just moving around the house too. If I hook it up to the computer it will show me those things on a map.

~
Driving North.
The wind is driving us north - north into the bitter cold of mid January.
Blue, gray and white,
dead brown.
Chickadees, nuthatches, bright cardinals and dull finches,
titmice, juncos, and wobbly morning doves.
I can barely hear them lisping through the glass.
But the sun is driving us south.
Each day is a tiny bit longer.
Each day the light is a tiny bit stronger.
Bird songs a tiny bit louder - they will come clearly through open windows someday.

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